Column:

A dumb name for a new arena

By Doug Gillon, What It Is

Published April 2, 2004

I didn't want to write about this. It's almost a week old. I had a great piece about blundering NFL agents and crybaby players all worked up and ready to go. With Dennis Northcutt recently joining Terrell Owens in the pit of players who think if they cry loud enough they'll get what they want, it seemed all too appropriate of a topic.

But no. I can't ignore this.

Paige Sports Arena? Could there be a more flagrant violation of the codes of everything that is good and decent in the world?Yes, actually. Bill Laurie could have named it Jayhawk Arena or MU Sucks Arena or something like that. That would have been even more flagrant, but this is bad.

Doug, you're causing some problems for yourself here. After making those jokes about Josh Kroenke's playing time, and now getting on Bill Laurie's back, you'll probably never get a job. They'll blacklist you or something.

That might be, but Laurie's insult has to be addressed.

Kroenke may not have been as good of a player as Thomas Gardner, Arthur Johnson, Jason Conley, Travon Bryant, Rickey Paulding and Co., but no one ever questioned how hard he played on the court. At least Kroenke always gave his playing everything he had. I never got the feeling from watching him play that he expected any special treatment because of his money.

Laurie, however, seems to feel differently. His money gives him the right to do whatever he wants. "We're very proud of Paige" was part of his quote explaining the naming of the arena.

My parents are very proud of me but I guarantee that if they had an extra $25 million to throw at an arena they most certainly would not name it after me, since, when it comes down to it, I'm really a lot like any other kid. They might, oh I don't know, name it after the guy responsible for them having all that money

What's wrong with Walton Arena? Or even Laurie Arena? We have unspoken traditions here about naming things after people. Something gets named after you if you've either done something noteworthy (i.e. Norm Stewart Court) or paid for it.

"But I did help pay for this!" I can hear Laurie screaming right now.

Yeah Bill, you did. Good for you. Use your last name. You're affiliated with MU and St. Louis. You're the one who made the decision to funnel to the athletic department. But Paige? She doesn't even go to school here.

A KU fan has set up a humor Web page at www.paigesportsarena.com showing his thought about the "Mizzou Kitties'" new arena.

It's almost like admitting that the University of Southern California, Paige's school, holds rank over MU. I can see one of Paige's friends asking her at school, "Hey Paige! Have you even seen that arena they named after you at some school in the Midwest?"

"Yeah it's pretty cool. California's dreamy though."

Sadly, this outcry will eventually die down, the arena name will be accepted and no one will think about it anymore. Well, before that happens I want to say: Bill Laurie, shame on you.