Speaker discusses sex
Harlan Cohen's speech was a part of Sexual Responsibility Week.
Published Feb. 18, 2005
Author, songwriter and syndicated columnist Harlan Cohen shared his thoughts on dating, relationships and sex on Thursday night in Mark Twain Ballroom at Memorial Union. His show mixed stand-up comedy, original songs and an opportunity for audience members to have anonymous questions answered.
Sexual Health Advocate Peer Education sponsored the speech as part of Sexual Responsibility Week.
Cohen specializes in advice for teens and college students. He began his career by writing for Indiana University's campus newspaper. For his most recent book, "The Naked Roommate," he interviewed more than 1,000 students on more than 100 college campuses, asking them what one piece of advice they would give themselves if they could go back in time. After such research and years of reading thousands of students' letters while writing his syndicated advice column, Cohen formulated his theory of the universal truth of rejection.
In his show, Cohen said no one can be with every person he or she is interested in, and everyone suffers rejection at some point.
"There are enough people in the world that everyone doesn't need to like everyone else," Cohen said.
If people can recognize the different types of rejection and train themselves to cope, Cohen said, they could overcome many common problems that arise in dating, relationships and sex.
The key to Cohen's strategy is becoming comfortable enough with oneself to risk listening to one's conscience and making responsible decisions, especially regarding sex.
"Too many people trick themselves into doing things they know they shouldn't be doing, and if they could just be honest with themselves, then life would be a little bit easier," Cohen said.
During his presentation, Cohen focused on how to approach new people, which causes anxiety for many students. He said students shouldn't rely on alcohol or other artificial means of making themselves comfortable enough to approach someone in whom they are interested.
Sophomore Lauren Miller said she enjoyed Cohen's show and found it useful.
"I thought it was fabulous," she said. "I enjoyed his little anecdotes and his humor. I think it's cool that he's talked to so many college kids and he's got all that feedback. He's got some credibility."
Miller said she believes women find it just as hard to approach men as men find it to approach women.
"It's nontraditional, and it's really tough," she said.
Sophomore Ashley Nixon said she liked how Cohen's willingness to discuss sex was coupled with a message about sexual responsibility.
"I think sexual responsibility is very important," Nixon said. "He was very right in saying that everyone should go out and get tested, especially since there are a lot resources, not only on campus but also in the city, that not only do it for free but are also so available."