Panelists discuss international weddings
Three sudents described culktural differences between their home countries and America.
Published March 11, 2005
Forget something borrowed and something blue. International students discussed wedding traditions in their native countries at the third annual International Women's Night panel discussion, sponsored by the Women's Center, on Tuesday.
"This year we are interested in looking at how different cultural wedding rituals/ceremonies convey messages related to gender-role expectations and how these international women cope with the differences of gender-role expectations between their own cultures and the American culture," Yi-Jiun Lin, a member of the International Student Career Services with the Center for Multicultural Research, Training and Consultation, stated in an e-mail.
Panelists Ruth Ninajanty of Indonesia, Inna Akhtyrskaya of Ukraine and Loise Wambuguh of Kenya spoke at the event.
Ninajanty, a junior journalism student, opened the presentation by showing that the diversity of her country does not lend itself to an easy definition of wedding tradition.
"In general, the wedding ceremony doesn't exist," she said. "There are different provinces with different ceremonies and clothes. There is no one generalized marriage."
Ninajanty said wedding atire varies from a feather headdresses and beads in the traditional eastern province of Papua to a modern style in urban areas, which includes white dresses and flower girls.
Akhtyrskaya, a junior journalism student, said the uniformity of American weddings surprised her.
"Last semester I had a roommate who invited me to her brother's marriage," she said. "It was like a performance. There were so many maidens, and everyone was wearing the same clothes. It was not very eye-catching. In the Ukraine, you are more flexible when you want to get married. You'll never get a scenario, never know what's going to happen."
Akhtyrskaya said Ukrainian wedding celebrations often are flamboyant.
"Usually our weddings are very funny, with fireworks," she said. "If the whole city doesn't know you are having a wedding, then it is a bad wedding."
Kenyan marriages are still adjusting to new levels of women's rights, as traditional marriage ceremonies portrayed women as submissive to the husband, Wambuguh said.
She and her husband are practicing a more egalitarian lifestyle.
"Even in Kenya, he would help me in the kitchen and with the children in the night, but we would keep it quiet," she said. "If my husband's parents or any of his family members came to the U.S., I would try to avoid him going to the kitchen or doing other household chores. This may be interpreted to mean that he has taken a woman's role or that I am lazy."
Wedding ceremonies in some cultures can take several days. In traditional Ukrainian weddings, the ceremony could last up to a week because of all the people to congratulate. Now the average ceremony lasts two days, Akhtyrskaya said.
Kenyan ceremonies are also drawn out, Wambuguh said.
"It is your day, and there are so many things to be done," she said. "You cannot time the wedding because everyone has to give gifts."
Lin said the panelists showed that varied cultures still have many similarities.
"I feel that the presentations were excellent, and I appreciate seeing the differences but also the similarities," she said. "Though the geography is so huge, we still share so much."