Veronicas are cute, bland
This is what happens when you mix the Olsen twins and Avril Lavigne.
Published Feb. 28, 2006
Mix one part Avril Lavigne, two parts bag lady fashionistas the Olsen twins, and the result is the latest "musical" offering from The Veronicas, identical Aussie twins Jess and Lisa Origliasso, who must think they are pretty badass. The duo's debut album, The Secret Life of the Veronicas, hit U.S. stores on Valentine's Day, and The Veronicas have gained popularity all over the globe. So watch out all you wanna-be punk rock chicks. The Veronicas are the newest thing for rich kid neo-punk.
The Secret Life of the Veronicas pays homage to everything that is wrong with music today. The two divas have no instrumental credits on the entire album, and they are better at picking clothes than writing lyrics.
The Secret Life of the Veronicas starts with "4Ever." Someone needs to tell whomever these girls hired to write the track that you can't rhyme "night" with "night" and "ever" with "ever." That's not rhyming — that's lazy repetition. And it isn't clever. The song starts with typical wanna-be bad girl lyrics: "Here we are, so what you gonna do?/Do I have to spell it out for you?" But these girls are about as threatening as Barney the dinosaur and have more in common with Kelly Clarkson than Joan Jett.
"Secret" is by far the worst track. It starts with a Spanish guitar intro and then dives back into the homogeneous sound it shares with every other song for the chorus. The pop beat stops and goes back to the Spanish guitar, then back to the typical pop sound, which ends after the lines, "I am the girl of your dreams/but nobody ever asks me/I never looked at you that way/'cause I always thought you were gay." The twins' attempt at writing is a failure.
"Speechless" is a typical girl-in-love ballad. The twins sing, "You leave me speechless/when you talk to me," and more typical lyrics do not exist. The song is so predictable that it left me speechless.
"Revolution" is simply offensive to true rock 'n' rollers, not because of bad music or singing but simply because these teeny-boppers think they are revolutionary. The duo shouts, "I am!/I'm a revolution," and I couldn't help but cringe.
"I Could Get Used To This" starts with techno-esque beeping and distorted drums. The first lines start with, "You make me breakfast in bed/when I'm mixed up in my head/You wake me with a kiss/I could get used to this." The song sounds like a bad rip-off of Jessica Simpson's "With You." Simpson sings, "But with you/I can let my hair down," while The Veronicas mirror with, "You think I look the best/When my hair is a mess." The whole song stinks like Simpson's.
The Veronicas are just another group that proves in today's music business, the guitar player is less important than the hair stylist.