Letter to the Editor:

Real war got you down? Try wars of the comedic type

By Ross Taylor

Published March 21, 2006

Say friend, the war in Iraq got you down? Try Comedy Wars. Chancroid and chlamydia run rampant — why risk it? Comedy Wars is 100 percent effective as a contraceptive and STD prevention. Tired of a let-down love life? Comedy Wars always drives you home the next morning. Is your home life a proverbial intestine in the bowel of life? Comedy Wars is all the family you'll ever need.

Think Wild N' Out has the Wild N' Gout? Wonder why it was "anyone's line, ever"? Try Comedy Wars. You can't be annoyed by something you've never seen. We invite you to "Come get sick of us!"

Think Arctic Monkeys is yet another in a long line of commercial whores waiting to happen? Remember when Samuel L. Jackson was in movies you wanted to see? Think Comedy Wars. We haven't sold out because we haven't had the chance. We're like Weezer's Blue Album!

If you like laughing, Comedy Wars is for you! Our fans are all drunk on something, and they're looking for love. Do you enjoy quoting "Napoleon Dynamite"? Is your week centered on "Real World"? Comedy Wars might not be for everyone.

If you're tired of the same old jokes and movie quotes and you like music, comedy and want to see what live performance should be like, Comedy Wars is always free.

That's right — each and every Wednesday at 9:30 p.m., next to Applause! Coffeehouse in Memorial Union — Comedy Wars is an hour and a half of completely improvised comedy. Sometimes there are free gifts for the entire audience. Sometimes there is partial nudity and adult situations.

Bring a date. Heidelberg after every show! Milk, cookies and absinthe on us! Try Comedy Wars, it'll cure what ails you!