Superman that ... album
Soulja Boy's debut is good for a few laughs, but download, don't buy it.
Published Oct. 5, 2007
If anyone questioned the power of the Internet, and more specifically YouTube.com, then Soulja Boy Tell 'Em has finally made that person look stupid. Back in the spring, months before it became the No. 1 song in the country, "Crank Dat (Soulja Boy)" was an internet sensation.
The video of three guys in their living room doing the Soulja Boy dance has gotten nearly 14 million hits, spawned covers varying from SpongeBob to Aquaman and inspired parodies such as "Crank That (Folger Boy)," which is about the virtues of a cup of coffee.
That's not bad for a song that probably cost about $12 to make and considering Soulja Boy's not even legal.
Soulja Boy himself thanks LimeWire in the liner notes, and in "Don't Get Mad," he acknowledges and embraces the downfall of the CD-based music industry.
"They say the records ain't sellin' no mo," he said. "That's because everyone's on the Internet hittin' download."
So Soulja Boy has gone, as he says, "from the Internet to mainstream," but there's not much in his major-label debut, Souljaboytellem.com - yes, that's the title - that makes it likely he will stay there.
The album does have at least nine or 10 catchy, if uninventive, beats over the course of its 13 songs, and that might be where Soulja Boy's future is. Atlanta's Mr. Collipark contributes a beat on "Sidekick," the CD's best, but Soulja Boy produced most songs, including "Crank That."
And some of the songs are good at least for a few laughs, including "Booty Meat," in which Soulja Boy demands all the boppers, twerkers and the like "shake that booty meat," over and over.
The problem is that the entire album lacks any creative hooks. In nearly every song, the choruses are just one sentence repeated over and over, if that. You would think that someone who has been rapping for such little time wouldn't have run out of things to write about, but Soulja Boy continues to amaze.
That said, it's not a terrible album. I was actually pissed off that it sucked a lot less than I thought it would, but there's really nothing new or inventive at all throughout the 48 minutes of the CD.
The biggest problem lies in that there's nothing at all remotely clever about any of the songs on the album. "Donk," another song about ass-shaking, precedes "Booty Meat," and "Bapes" is about the shoes I thought stopped being cool about the time my balls dropped.
On "Sidekick," Soulja Boy says, "I can't believe I'm rappin' about a phone." Me neither.
Soulja Boy, through no fault of his own, is also too far removed from what got him to where he is: the Internet. On "Let Me Get Em," he says, "I got a new dance for y'all," and we have no idea what that is. He mumbles something about it being like the Poole Palace and then trails off. Thanks.
The album isn't as laughably bad as previous boutique rap albums such as Down 4 Life's or every album Dem Franchize Boyz have ever made, but Soulja Boy will never be a major player in the rap industry with stuff like this.
That said, I'd still recommend downloading this off LimeWire, and judging from what he said, I don't think Soulja Boy will mind.