Column:

Döner kebab is the Taco Bell of the U.K.

By John Hendel

Published March 14, 2007

LONDON — During my time at MU, I lived in Mark Twain residence hall, the isolated hall near the power plant with its own swimming pool and dining hall. Yet the saving grace to this location was actually the Taco Bell, conveniently located on Providence Road just a block away.

Taco Bell has grown to fill a special niché developed for fast food around the world. The Bell's advertisements sum it up nicely when they call it the "fourth meal." This special niché occupies the hours from about midnight to anywhere between 3 a.m. and 5 a.m. and services a very special sort of customer.

Some call it "drunk food," though I simply call it quality, all-hours eating.

Regardless of your level of intoxication, there comes that time — usually around 2 a.m. — when the craving hits. Certainly Chipotle is no option then, much less China Kitchen Chinese or Buckingham's Smokehouse Bar-B-Q or anything of that sort. The answer tends to be, as it should be, a delicious Crunchwrap Supreme.

I remember once, a former roommate and I found Taco Bell's main dining area closed due to the late hour. We proceeded to simply walk through the drive-through. The workers unflinchingly carried out our orders — it was just another night for them and another example of the sterling patience and duties required to work for the fourth-meal establishment.

This phenomenon occurs all around the world. Mexico, for instance, has the taqueria, which are cheap, fantastic taco places. You can recognize a taqueria by a giant piece of meat hanging with a pineapple above it. This provides the meat for the al pastor (rotisserie pork) tacos, which are easily the tastiest ones.

Our study abroad adviser didn't tell us they can cause brain damage until the last week, and given that I'm still alive and had eaten tons of them, I vouch for their safety and taste. If you're lost in the middle of the night in Mexico, just look for the light of flaming meat.

But thanks to the Turks, I've discovered that no place knows "drunk food" like Europe. The Turkish folk have brought a delightful food called the döner kebab to mainstream Europe, and little kebab places can be found everywhere throughout the continent. Initially, I thought it a limited phenomenon, and then I went to Italy and found a half-dozen kebab places within a few blocks of my hostel. We have two kebab restaurants near our London flats, both open till about 5 a.m. The continent's obsessed. Truth be told, I can see why.

I only first experienced the joy of the lamb döner kebab a few weeks ago, but I ended up eating three kebabs in two days.

A kebab does not consist of skewered meat. There's no stick whatsoever, contrary to many people's assumptions. It's more like a gyro, a big sandwich stuffed with lamb meat and sauces and more.

The döner-mania immediately infected most of my fellow program members, and it has become our regular and rightful late-night establishment. London's night buses even take us right to the two nearby kebab places when we return after a long night out. People constantly debate about which nearby kebab place is better though, personally, there's nothing like dining in at King Kebab Restaurant at 3 a.m.

For further information, see the Facebook group "I love döner kebabs," featuring 127 pictures of its 6,000 members eating kebabs.