Column:

Spring brings out the Jesus zealots

By Dan Friesen

Published May 1, 2007

Spring has sprung, and, as always, that means those crazy Christians are back. Hearing that the weather had become evangelical-friendly, all the powerhouse proselytizers reclaimed their rightful position as the loudest, most public voice on campus.

Brother Jed Smock and his religious sideshow are back. I know he has a serious message, and he is really dedicated to saving our souls, but I always wondered why he only preaches when the weather is nice.

Well, this week, while reading through a copy of the New Testament he gave me, I came across a less-talked-about commandment in Philemon: "Thou shalt convert the heathens, preaching in public, being an example to the unwashed masses. Unless it's raining. Or it's below 50 degrees out."

We seem to have two major groups of Christians on campus who are competing for the chance to save your soul.

In one corner we have the whack-jobs in Jed's camp. I don't want to challenge anyone's faith here, but it seems to me that traveling all over the country to have college students laugh and yell at you is more like self-imposed penance than genuine preaching.

No one takes them seriously, and I can't imagine anyone being convinced by their message, which begs the question: Why do it? Although some (biblical scholars) might say he has a horrible misinterpretation of scripture, others (me) might say he has king-hell persecution fantasies, and he plays them out on our campus every day.

Again, I say, that's fine. He has an absolute right to do that. I have an absolute right to call him pathetic. But really, aren't we all pathetic?

While walking to class the other day, I overheard Jed calling for a "new crusade" for Christianity.

Now, because he's white and a Christian, we all can tell that he's speaking metaphorically and not calling for another armed conflict of conversion.

Let's just imagine for a second if he was Brother Mohammed, and he was metaphorically calling for a "new jihad" for Islam. How long do you think it would take for some well-intentioned student to call the FBI if a Muslim were out in the Speaker's Circle saying the same things Jed does every day?

Meanwhile, in the other corner, we have "The New Christians on the Block," the group lugging around a confessional booth and handing out apology letters. In the letter, the NCOBT say: "We realize that, for some, the only example of a 'Christian' they see will be the one condemning them from the Speaker's Circle. We apologize that we do not stand up as Christians and bring to light who Christ really is, but instead allow the Speaker's Circle 'Christian' to speak louder than our lives."

Are you kidding me? These people are trying to exploit the student body's deserved distrust of and disrespect for Jed and turn it into religious capital for themselves.

They even go so far as to put Christian in quotes when talking about Jed, somehow suggesting that they are right and he's wrong.

Evangelism is built upon the belief that "they" are right and you are wrong. The big goal in life then becomes convincing you that you are wrong and you need them to show you how to be right.

All the while, they can hide behind the sorry I-do-this-because-I-care-about-you-and-don't-want-you-to-go-to-Hell mask, as if that somehow excused their presumption and temerity.

I, for one, don't know what happens when we die and am fairly comfortable with that. I do, though, know that I will never be shown the "truth" by either of these groups. I'm sticking with the Five Percent Nation. They have better barbecues.