Column:

If only it were Hitchcock

By Dan Moore

Published May 4, 2007

"The Invisible" is an interesting story with a completely uninteresting setting. I tried to think of a real example, but I couldn't.

So, think of it this way: This is like making a truly compelling love story about two ugly, charmless Nazis or setting a sci-fi epic in somebody's garage. It's not quite so bad, but the clichéd environment in which this story operates nearly ruins it.

The story involves a man named Nicholas Powell, who is nearly killed by a female criminal acquaintance in a case of mistaken identity. When he comes to, he's trapped in limbo, left to watch helplessly as the police search for his dying body as his killer tries to escape. When it comes out that his would-be killer is the only person who can hear him speak — and, what's more, they have a lot in common — they navigate the twists and turns of the second half of the movie together, before the man dies and his spirit leaves forever.

That is a taut suspense story, one of those innocent-guy-gets-caught-up-in-things-beyond-his-control motifs that Hitchcock used perfectly in movies like "North by Northwest." If this premise had emerged, say, 50 years ago, it would star two adult actors, and would take place in a big city or an eerie highway town. Unfortunately, this is the PG-13 era, and the money dictates that it stars high schoolers and features a completely out-of-place soundtrack of mediocre pseudo-indie music. So let's try that premise again.

The story involves a high school boy, named Nick Powell, who writes god-awful teen poetry and is remarkably full of himself. He's nearly killed by a classmate, a high school girl who has somehow broken into the car-thievery and diamond heist business. When he comes to, he's trapped in limbo, where he whines about his mom (who, like, totally doesn't get him) and watches helplessly as the police somehow fail to capture a 17 year-old girl. When it comes out that his would-be killer is the only person who can hear him speak — and, what's more, she's inexplicably attractive — they navigate the twists and turns of the second half of the movie together, because this is a teen movie, and that's what happens.

This is a psychological thriller, but these characters have so little going on in their heads that there's nothing with which to thrill. Nick Powell is utterly unsympathetic, self-absorbed and talentless, and his murderer/love interest, Annie, is inconsistently characterized to the point of parody. The members of the supporting cast, meanwhile, each overact like they were promised top billing.

Without its "Pretty in Pink" milieu, this could be a minor suspense classic. But its main characters are so repellant, so self-satisfied, that anybody who can drive to the theater without his mom in the front seat, holding the learner's permit, will have trouble empathizing with them.