College costs a kick in the groin, literally

Sophomore looks to sell an expensive kick to his groin on eBay to pay for school.

By Allie Blood

Published Oct. 16, 2008

Sophomore Michael Linneman is willing to sell a kick to his family jewels on eBay to pay for college.

Linneman posted an offer on eBay about three weeks ago titled "Kick me in the nuts to help me pay for college." The offer entitles the purchaser to kick Linneman as hard as he or she can in his testicles while the incident is videotaped. The starting bid is $80,000 and carries a "Buy it now" price of $150,000. So far, there have been no bids. Linneman recently removed the listing for personal reasons.

Linneman said the cost of his education is frustrating. Although he works for the Division of Information Technology and receives some scholarships, he still struggles to pay for school.

"There are some people who spend ridiculous amounts of money, like come to school here and just party," he said. "I work hard at school. It's frustrating."

Student Financial Aid employee Corina Blanc said the price per credit hour for an in-state student is $245.65 per credit hour, making the cost for an in-state student enrolled in 12 credit hours a semester about $3,000. For out-of-state students, it costs about $4,400. Housing, which is the same for in- and out-of-state students is, on average, more than $8,000 for a school year. Most students also pay more than $600 each semester in fees.

Linneman said he doesn't expect anyone to seriously bid on the offer, but he said he has been noticed by Web sites that pick up unorthodox stories.

"I was hoping someone would want to use it in a commercial," he said.

The idea came from reading a book titled "Think and Grow Rich," which has a chapter about imagination in gaining wealth, he said.

"It was talking about the power of your imagination and what you can attain," he said.

Fellow students and eBay shoppers have commented about 15 times on his offer.

"It's been a good experience," he said. "I've gotten a lot of people saying things like 'I really want to kick you in the balls but I only have $5.'"

If someone were to follow through with the offer, Linneman said he would relinquish the right to sue the kicker for damages, though he's sure no one will bid on the offer.

"If I really wanted to do it, I would do it without paying him," said sophomore Nick Hennis, a friend of Linneman. "That's what friends are for."

Linneman said in the case of a bid from a trained athlete, like senior Missouri football kicker Jeff Wolfert, he might cancel the offer.

"If it were him, I don't know what I'd do," he said. "I'd probably have to reconsider."

Linneman found support with friends like Hennis who said college is outrageously expensive.

"I say he's a little bit crazy, but if he gets the money it's a genius idea," Hennis said.

Genius might be the word Hennis uses to describe the idea, but physicians disagree. University Health Care spokesman Jeff Hoelscher said the prospect of the sale was ludicrous.

"It's more than kind of unorthodox," he said. "I don't know what this person is thinking. I can't express enough that this is the wrong way to try to get through college."

In an e-mail, Student Health Center physician Jae Lee said he does not support any students, males in particular, receiving blunt trauma to the groin.

In addition to impairing ability to reproduce, trauma could result in disfiguration from scar tissue or the death of the organ.

"All of these conditions could have an impact on a man's ability to sow his genetic seed and will at the very least result in a lot of discomfort," he said. "So from a physician's standpoint, don't allow yourself to be kicked in the groin. Ever."