Column:

Disability Services policy ineffective

By Jacob Houska

Published Oct. 16, 2008

If you think breaking your left arm three different times in three different places in three consecutive semesters sucks, you obviously haven't met Michael Primeaux.

Stankowski Field treats his left arm about as well as Michael Vick treats dogs. He broke the same arm twice on the field and once on the RecSports softball field. For a former standout athlete in high school, being told you can't even play intramurals in college is kind of hard to swallow.

But he wasn't exactly told he couldn't play. It kind of became clear after he broke his left arm for the third time while playing flag football that it might be time to take a semester off. Soon after, he found himself registering with Disability Services because he couldn't use his writing hand and needed a test taker.

What he didn't expect was to have surgery during the deadline to register as a student with disability. After he missed the deadline, he was told being allowed to have a test taker fill out his Scantron forms would be at the discretion of each of his professors. But it shouldn't be that big of a deal, right? It shouldn't be too much of a favor to ask of a teacher, right? Especially if you're telling the truth, right?

Wrong.

One teacher told him if Disability Services couldn't help him, neither could she. He would have to come back over the summer and take the test. Only one problem - he lives in Dallas.

Another told him he had to take the test with the other hand. Use your right, she said. Not a big deal - unless it's a calculus test.

It's a good thing he discovered his ability to write with a crayon in his right hand at Romano's Macaroni Grill. So he took a calculus test with a green Crayola and got a 92 percent.

"It pissed me off," Primeaux said. "I had to fly back to Columbia to take a test, I had to negotiate with teachers while I was on painkillers, and I had to do calculus right-handed with crayons. The policy sucks. It doesn't account for the fact that some teachers are just mean."

And it doesn't account for the fact not everyone is like Primeaux. He's a junior with a 4.0 GPA. He can take calculus exams with the wrong hand and a crayon and still get an A. But what about everyone else? What if Joe Idiot broke his arm three times and wound up taking math tests with crayons and flying thousands of miles to make up accounting exams over material that he's probably already forgotten? Take it from me. I'm an idiot, and I would fail hard.

If a student has attention deficit disorder, he or she can send a note taker employed by the university to class for them and can even get extra time to take exams. I truly believe everyone at this school could be diagnosed with ADD if they wanted to. The symptoms of ADD are being easily distracted and doing impulsive things without thinking about the consequences. Does that describe anyone you know?

But, on the other hand, a 4.0 student breaks his arm three times and can't write and he can't get any help.

Life's not fair, but that's just ridiculous.