Column:

Quidditch: It's Real

By Mark Levitt

Published Oct. 30, 2008

Basketball, gymnastics and swimming will all take their normal, prominent places at the 2012 Olympic Games in London. And though Michael Phelps and the "Redeem Team" provided plenty of excitement in China, the Olympics seemed to be lacking something this past summer. It needs a new, fresh sport, one with a little bit of magic.

That is why I am making this proposal to the International Olympic Committee.  To replace baseball and softball, which until sometime in the future are no longer Olympic sports, insert Quidditch into the mix. Harry Potter has already taken over the world of books, movies and now amusement parks, so why not put it on the grandest stage in sports.

Unlike J.K. Rowling's rendition, competitors are unable to fly or use a wand, but the rules of the sport have already been transferred from the wizard world to the muggle (human) one.

Each player holds a broomstick between his/her legs while they run. No matter how hard you try, you will not be able to fly.

Each team consists of the following seven players. Three "chasers" move down the field, passing the "quaffle" (a deflated volleyball) and trying to shoot it into one of three goals (hoops the size of a hula-hoop about six feet in the air) for 10 points. One "keeper" defends the team's goal. Two members throw bludgers (dark balls) at the opposing team. The final member is in charge of catching the coveted golden snitch, which gives the team 50 points and ends the game.

When a player is hit with a bludger, he/she must drop any ball they are holding and run around their own goals once before continuing to play.

The golden snitch is a tennis ball stuffed in a sock that is hanging out of a designated runner's pocket. The runner may run all around campus but must return to the playing field every 10 minutes to give keepers the opportunity to catch the snitch and end the game. In "Harry Potter," the snitch is a flying golden ball that appears and disappears throughout the game. Unfortunately nobody has yet figured out how to actually enchant inanimate objects.

There is already proof the sport can be a success. Just this past weekend, Middlebury College hosted the first Intercollegiate Quidditch World Cup. Judging from pictures and videotape, the crowds were good if not rowdy, looking like a mixture of European soccer fans and wannabe wizards. According to a Greg Gumbel report from CBS Sports, more than 65 colleges from 25 states already participate in what will hopefully become the world's newest pastime.

I know some of this sounds silly, but before anybody discounts it as a joke, consider this: Speed walking and tug-of-war have both been Olympic sports. I challenge anybody to make a valid argument of why they would rather watch people stroll in the park or pull on a rope than mount a broom while playing a mixture of rugby, dodge ball and soccer.

Imagine the national spirit the sport would create. I could walk outside my door with an American flag cape draped down my back and a Nimbus 2000 broom between my legs. No longer could my neighbors call me crazy. It's time for Quidditch!

If it doesn't make it to the Olympics, I hope somebody at MU picks up the sport. It might look funny, and it might be unconventional, but waking up on a Saturday morning to 14 students throwing around the quaffle and bludgers while others chase after the snitch on Stankowski Field, would be a truly magical sight.