Column:
The aftermath of Nov. 4
Published Nov. 10, 2008
When I woke up on Wednesday and looked out my window, nothing was on fire and I don't think we were dealing with the rapture. For some reason, it seemed like everything was pretty much the same.
Hope didn't make the weather any better, and I still had to go to class. It was just like the day before, except there was closure to the race. I wasn't ready for that. For such an engaging and bizarre election cycle, I can't imagine a political world without the cast of characters I have learned to love and hate over the nearly two years that have past.
Think back to the last few months, as documented by the news. You couldn't write better entertainment than Joe the Plumber, the Rev. Dr. Jeremiah A. Wright Jr., Sarah Palin, Bill Ayers and Oprah. And, while I hear "Zach and Miri" is uproarious and I enjoyed my time at "Role Models," if Hollywood were to create a movie with characters as diverse and outrageous as the ensemble we have seen tossed at us this political season, that movie would sell out at theaters across the country. I'm not sure if it would be a comedy or a drama, but I do know that Michael Bay would try to make it an action movie. And, like every movie he has made since "Armageddon," it would be brutal.
And as President-elect Barack Obama prepares to take office, I do think there is one lingering question that the 44th president needs to address immediately. The economy? Child's play. The war(s)? No one cares. Russia and the possible second cold war? Don't worry about it.
No, Obama needs to address the future of Joe the Plumber when he steps into office. Otherwise, that poor guy is going to have to go back to plumbing.
Actually, he might have problems doing that, as well, because, as it turns out, he's not a registered plumber in Ohio. Oops. I wonder how he will pay his back taxes. Hopefully that book deal works out. And, just like Sarah Palin, Joe (hold on as I copy and paste this) Wurzelbacher should have gone rogue much earlier. Though some would consider him not showing up to speak at a campaign rally in his name very rogue-like.
Yes, Joe 'The Plumber' Wurzelbacher cannot go back to a blue-collar job, getting tax breaks like other hard working Americans. And he certainly isn't capable of pulling a Mike Huckabee and getting a weekend show on Fox News. No, Joe the Plumber needs to run for president on the GOP ticket in 2012.
President George Bush was elected twice for being the guy America would like to have a beer with. It's been putting average Joes and hockey moms on the ticket for no reason other than to possibly sell the rights to Disney for a straight-to-DVD movie later on.
Joe the Plumber is perfect for the Republican Party. He knows nothing about the issues, but he sure knows what it's like to live in America, unlike elitists such as Hillary Clinton, John McCain and Obama. I mean, who would want the cream of the American crop to run the country?
But, all jokes aside, what will Sarah Palin do? She can't go back to Alaska. Once you go continental, going back to Alaska is mental. I think I saw that on a bumper sticker. There's no question that Palin has to start campaigning with Joe the Plumber right now. That way, by the time they get to the election season in 2012, they will have picked up something in regard to the issues. Palin/The Plumber '12!