Column:

Ol’ Roger is done

By Patrick Daugherty

Published Feb. 15, 2008

In my first three columns of the semester, I resisted writing about the Roger Clemens saga. I resisted reading about it and tried not to waste time even thinking about it. It was old news. It was the Paris Hilton of the baseball world. Rumors of Clemens’ steroid use had been around for years (albeit from a source that actually did end up not being correct), and no baseball fan above the most casual of levels should have been surprised by anyone’s name being mentioned when it came to steroids.

On Wednesday afternoon, I finally gave in and indulged myself in a few hours of Clemens’ Masterpiece Theatre in Washington. The prospect of watching ‘ol Roger twist in the wind before frothing-at-the-mouth U.S. Congressmen and women was too good a prospect to pass up.

And twist is exactly what Clemens did. People can say whatever they like about Brian McNamee. I’m sure he’s lied before and that he will lie again. But if, after watching Clemens on Wednesday, you can draw any conclusion other than he is a hopeless liar and fraud finally getting his comeuppance, you are as delusional as he is.

Roger. Did. Steroids. And human growth hormone. And tampered with a witness. And had his supposed “best friend” in baseball turn his back on him and join the group of those throwing Clemens under the bus the way he threw Mike Piazza’s broken bat at him during the 2000 World Series.

The level to which Clemens is now taking his defense is truly fascinating. Barry Bonds “only” lied to a grand jury. Clemens is doing it to the United States Congress, and for no reason.

If Clemens got one thing right yesterday, it is that his name will never be cleared in the minds of sports fans. But now instead of taking his millions (who knows, maybe billions) and living in a big mansion on a hill, à la Mark McGwire (who is coming out of the steroid era looking like perhaps its only smart player), he is indulging in the biggest dog-and-pony show the earth has ever seen.

Clemens has always been arrogant and above the law in his mind, but trying to pass off excuses like his supposed best friend “misheard” him talking about getting injected, only the wife of a baseball player in the steroid era took HGH and that he wasn’t at some juiced-up barbeque 10 years ago is the kind of thing only George Costanza could pull off. It’s not lying if you believe it, and old sore-ass (pardon the pun) Clemens believes every word of what he is saying. Congress, the Internal Revenue Service, Andy Pettitte, Chuck Knoblauch and Brian McNamee don’t, but hey, who’s keeping count? Clemens would apparently rather go to jail than just live the last half of his life branded a cheater in a kids game. He’s lobbying to do 5-10 in prison instead of 25-40 on the golf course.

If he shuts up now, he might even still make the Hall of Fame. Peter Gammons would say he was great before he ‘roided or something. But Clemens is just too obsessed with making his Texas-sized lie a reality.

Just fade away, Roger. It is so much better than fizzling out.