Mr. and Miss Drag Mizzou: too good to be true

Britney Queers and Dick Givens were named Mr. and Miss Drag

By Laura Swan

Published March 11, 2008

Miss P glided across the stage in her formal gown, more comfortable than most women in her high heels.

“We never want you to forget that we are 300-pound men who are tucked and plucked,” said co-host and Miss Trailer Park 2007 Miss P at the beginning of Friday night’s student drag show.

Miss P described the different types of drag for the audience, explaining that classic beauty drag queens enter pageants and purposely maintain a balance between feminine and masculine. Female impersonators, on the other hand, want people to think they are women, she said. Some celebrity impersonators are also drag queens.

The Mr. and Miss Drag Mizzou pageant, presented by the Triangle Coalition and Mizzou After Dark, was the second to take place on campus.

As white tents lined the back wall, flooded in a rainbow of lights, Miss P and co-host Miss Honey Graham, East St. Louis’ Supermodel of the World, kicked off the show with their rendition of Brandy and Monica’s “The Boy is Mine.” They wore elegant off-the-shoulder black sparkle dresses and gave each other plenty of attitude while lip-syncing to the song about fighting over a man.

Performer Amanda Lay began the competition by lip-syncing to “I Break Things” by country musician Erika Jo.

Next, Britney Queers, with her long blonde hair, donned a short red dress and a red and white boa for her hip-thrusting performance of “Lucky.”

Audience members were impressed; they offered her tips for her efforts.

“I was driving my friends crazy talking about Britney Spears,” Queers said. “So for Lent they told me I had to give up talking about her.”

Queers and some friends came up with her stage name during a particularly Spears-centric conversation, one that upset her Lenten resolution.

Miss Honey Graham then rocked the room with Mary J. Blige’s “Just Fine” in a blue corset top and black tights with diva sunglasses and light, curly hair. The crowd cheered even louder when she walked out into the audience, accepting tips and even dancing with a few excited volunteers.

First in the Kings division, Ashe Thrash performed a dance to Chris Brown and T-Pain’s “Kiss Kiss.”

“I had cold feet, even today,” Thrash said. He said he chose to do the show because of the timing. Thrash, who identifies himself as transgender, said he is going through “transition,” or taking hormones, and thought the show was a good opportunity to solidify his decision.

Thrash also performed in contestant Dick Givens’ portrayal of a Saturday Night Live skit featuring Justin Timberlake in which he presents a woman with his “dick in a box.” Givens and Thrash were able to dance even with gift-wrapped boxes affixed to their waists.

Between acts, Miss P kept things moving with gut-busting, envelope-pushing jokes. On top of providing laughs, she told the audience “there is nothing more beautiful than the way you look.” She talked about the importance of loving your body, then immediately flashed the room.

In following with pageant etiquette, contestants answered questions from the audience. When a student helper asked Givens what he would do to promote world peace, he said “I would do anything in my power to get as many people as possible laid.”

In response to his question, Thrash said if he was given unlimited resources for an hour to do whatever he wanted, he would set up shop in a big city like Chicago and offer therapy for transgender people.

Outside the pageant, the Triangle Coalition and Gamma Rho Lambda sorority sold T-shirts in memory of Lawrence King, a 15-year-old who was killed last month in Oxnard, Calif. According to the Gay Lesbian Straight Education Network, King was killed by a classmate because he was gay and occasionally cross-dressed. The shirts, decorated with a white ribbon and his name on the back, read, “Are you erasing hate?”

Miss P said she hopes events like this one will help raise awareness and erase hate.

She called for a moment of screaming, instead of silence, for King and any other victims of discrimination and hate crimes.

Queers won the Queens division, earning a $50 gift certificate, a sash and a sparkling tiara. Givens was named Mr. Mizzou Drag, four years after attending his first show. Both winners will return on April 5 to make an appearance in the professional drag show in Jesse Auditorium.

After winning, Givens, with his painted-on goatee, said, “I guess I feel like more of a man than I ever have before.”