Adventures in the First Ward

By John Hendel

Published March 14, 2008

“Do you play chess?”

The voice came from behind us, and my friends Ty and Brittony froze. We’d simply been sitting there enjoying our coffee at a downtown establishment, just minding our own business. Normally I’d welcome any casual exchanges with other tables, but no one asked for this.

Our heads turned slowly. Before us stood a young gangly figure, like 7 feet tall, messed up front teeth, quiet desperation in his eyes, wearing a full black suit. He stood next to a lone table with a chessboard and whipped a timer from his bag. We later would learn this man played chess for five hours a day (either online or in person), spoke Swedish, and claimed to teach chess at a private school.

We politely declined and watched as he proceeded to approach countless other tables of strangers and wander about, virtually always unsuccessful in his quest for other players. Eventually he returned to wait at his table for more passersby.

Five minutes later, Ty turned to me and asked what people mean when they’re referring to a “Dostoevsky idiot.” I started to throw out a word on Prince Myshkin when the voice cried out again.

“Do you like Dostoevsky?” the chess giant asked. “I loved 'Crime and Punishment.'”

The next exchange led me to learn that the giant also had epilepsy. Five minutes later, our table mentioned Spanish.

“Do you all speak Spanish? I think it’s so important to speak another language. Hardly anyone else speaks my language.”

For a split second there, I thought he talking about Elvish or Klingon or even just his brand of English. No, though, “his” language was Swedish.

I felt a little bad for the guy as I watched him through the evening. He earnestly just wanted a nice game of chess, but Christ. He’s showed up solo, chess board in tow, a few other times since and it’s always the same. Any encounter with him is bound to reassure you if you’re worried about being socially awkward.

Those bizarre encounters also appeal to me in a distinct way. That guy was a regular, straight-up downtown character of the First Ward. I’ve talked in columns before about how I like Columbia, but more and more it’s become a matter of loving the First Ward, the central Columbia area that encompasses much of downtown and the residential neighborhood directly north of it.

Paul Sturtz, one of the four people running for First Ward city council member, recently called it a microcosm of the city, according to an article in the Columbia Missourian, and that’s an appropriate way to look at it.

You’ve got plenty of weirdos such as the chess giant roaming about as well as artists like Joel Sager with their paintings displayed just two blocks away at the Perlow-Stevens Gallery. The bars down the way reveal a different sort of life. One intoxicated friend of mine ended up shattering glasses on the floor of Penguin, the dueling piano bar, just last Saturday night. He also practically leaped over the second-floor railing yelling “skanks.” Variety is certainly one virtue of the ward.

The diversity is reflected in the race for council member, which has attracted some fascinating candidates such as Sturtz, a guy behind Ragtag and True/False, as well as initially others like Sal Nuccio, owner of the Eastside Tavern. Sturtz’s comments suggest real diversity when you consider these bars, art galleries, and overpriced boutiques are just a hop, skip and a jump from Columbia’s poorer neighborhoods to the north. It’s not New York City, but in a few blocks you can still glimpse a world of characters not visible elsewhere.