Column:

Busey, green living poster-boy

By Hannah Hayes

Published April 22, 2008

As a person who tends to spend a lot of time in Hy-Vee staring at apple juice labels to see which one was shipped the closest, I’m constantly getting into arguments with my less earth-conscious friends.

I’ve heard all the excuses from “Wal-mart is more convenient” to “I’m not one of those gay hippies” and the most common “Hannah, you’re crazy. I’m in college. Leave me alone.”

True, I may be a little extreme as I debate whether Des Moines is farther away than Oklahoma City in the juice and canned fruit aisle, which leads me to consider bringing my juicer down to school ... but being in college doesn’t mean your actions suddenly don’t have consequences.

It’s become a cliché, but taking responsibility for your decisions regarding the earth doesn’t mean you have to install a wind turbine on the roof of your frat house or save the baby polar bears on your spring break. It’s the daily choices you can change, like recycling your beer bottles or slicing your own cheese instead of throwing away a sheet of plastic every time you unwrap a Kraft single.

It’s about being aware of what your choices produce and say. That alone will make you feel more in control of your life than living on a whim ever will.

But money and time seem to be the issue whenever I confront my friends about the consequences of their choices. They argue it takes too long to take the trip over to the grocery store, that Wal-mart’s cheaper or buying consciously is expensive. I would contend this isn’t always the case, but even if it was, it’s not absolute justification.

To illustrate you can resolve to change this Earth Day, I am going to use C-list actor, Gary Busey, who, as of late, is financially at the same level as the average college student.

Let’s say Gary, who has been evicted from his Malibu rental home, decides to move to Columbia to escape the hectic Hollywood life and wants to start doing his part to keep life on this planet from spiraling into oblivion. Gary’s cool like that. So he sets up three trashcans, one for trash, one for cans and plastic and the other for paper products (like good movie scripts and cigar boxes).

Next Gary Busey checks his schedule for a handy time he can take a once-weekly trip to Hy-Vee; Gary’s chill with employee-owned establishments. Since he’s going to look for a job tomorrow, Gary decides to head out. When he gets to the store he finds they’re selling reusable, durable bags for just a dollar apiece. “Holy crap that’s a deal!” Gary exclaims. He’ll put them in his car so he won’t forget them, and better yet, he’ll get a 15-cent discount for every bag he uses.

Gary Busey moseys on over to the organic section of the store and picks up a glass bottle of milk from a dairy right here in Missouri. “Gee, this milk is a little more expensive,” Gary thinks, “But wait, here’s a sign that says I get a dollar and 50 cents back for every bottle I return.

Gary realizes that even though a lot of the food that comes from businesses and farms he agrees with is a little more expensive, he might be more inclined to buy less food and lose that belly. Man, won’t that piss off his ex-wives. Gary digs that idea.

As Gary leaves the store with his bags full of good choices, he drops off his old plastic bags at the door to be recycled. When he gets home Gary turns off his compact florescent bulb, which is saving him a sweet butt-ton of money, crawls under his sheets and he thinks to himself, “Dude, I thought this livin’ green thing was for rich liberal yuppies, but I’m savin’ a lot of money and I feel good about what I’m doin’... I’m gonna’ call Wesley Snipes up tomorrow and tell him all about it.”