Navigating your way to classes can be difficult
Sept. 5, 2008
Anyone who has ever gone to a decent-sized college (like MU, for example) knows the hectic nature of a college campus. Sure, the university blocks off some roads to create a "pedestrian campus" from 8:15 a.m. to 3:45 p.m., and that helps a little bit, except when you have to deal with the "drivers" who operate the buses.
And let's not forget about MU employees who can drive anywhere, golf cart operators (who are these guys and what do they do?) and construction workers with their damn Bobcats. However, the most perilous part of walking on campus often involves living organisms rather than machinery.
Fellow students are one of the most dangerous hazards of the journey to and from class. This is mostly because of the phenomenon of not being able to avoid paths. This is rarely a problem when I am in a rush or in a crowd, but for whatever reason when I see a lone person from more than 100 feet away, our paths always seem to converge.
For example, sometimes I'll walk more to the right if it appears we are going to have a head-on crash. Every time I do this, the person on the other end walks to the left. Then we get to be about 30 feet apart and we both turn the opposite way. Once we realize we are going to crash - about 15 feet later - we make a panic move to the opposite direction, meaning we're still going to crash. We then close to within five feet of each other, which leaves us just enough time to switch directions one last time, resulting in an awkward collision and some quick, blaming glances.
Unlike what some movies portray, I've never had a meaningful conversation with a girl after running into them in the aforementioned situation. In fact, the dialogue consists of either me saying sorry, the girl saying sorry or the girl asking if I'm in need of glasses. In other words, there's never any love at first sight or sexual tension, just unabated tension.
I also hate when I walk on campus and see someone from a mile away because it is impossible to gauge the correct time to say hello. If we're fortunate enough not to awkwardly collide like I described in my last scenario, then we still have to greet each other. Too early, and the greeting might become excruciatingly long. Too late, and my friend might be offended by the lack of acknowledgement.
The safest play is to look away or down as soon as you see the familiar person, then look up just in the nick of time (or so they think; you knew you were going to look the entire time) with about two seconds to spare. This in itself is not too difficult to execute. What to say, or not say, is the hard part. (Listening to your iPod is a good way to avoid this dilemma, by the way.)
Should you just give a simple head nod? A "hey," "sup?" or "how you doin'?" Maybe even a handshake? Tough to say. You pretty much have to play it by ear. However, with all the energy that goes into the timing of the exchange, people like me usually say something incoherent, like "What's going doin'?" or "'Sup Jus-ian?" when the kid's name is Brian.
Needless to say, I don't really enjoy walking to class. And I didn't even mention having to avoid bicyclists. Maybe I should just be lazy and get a scooter or motorcycle. But then again, I'd like to live past the age of 40.
More Sept. 5, 2008 Forum Stories
- Student votes make a difference — With campaign season in full swing, we at The Maneater have politics on our minds. MU students - we hope ...
- McCain unrealistic on issues of choice — Thirty-five years after the historic Supreme Court ruling in Roe v. Wade, the issue of a woman's right to choose ...
- Navigating your way to classes can be difficult — Anyone who has ever gone to a decent-sized college (like MU, for example) knows the hectic nature of a college ...
- Poor grammar leads to stereotyping — Laura Akers, Graduate Library Assistant
- Student security should be priority — Preventing crimes before they happen in the first place is the most effective way to ensure student safety at MU. ...
Most recent Forum Stories
- Fessehaye/Abell will listen to student organizations — Ryan Pulkrabek, Greeks Going Green President
- Questions about freeze must be answered — On Monday, UM system President Gary Forsee sent an e-mail to all UM faculty announcing a hiring freeze on all ...
- Students must push hard for condoms — Just last week, we called for administrators to speed up the timeline for condoms in residence halls and urged student ...
- Celebrating a historic presidency that's still in the future — Last night, while sifting through the sludge heap of late night TV infomercials, I came across an ad for a ...
- Obnoxious freshman surplus due to rising enrollment — It seems to upperclassmen that every year the freshman class at MU gets larger and somehow more naive to the ...