Column:

Walk right or walk away

By Sami Hall

Published Oct. 13, 2009

I do not know exactly when I started walking, and I do not think most people do. But it is something we have been doing for years. In fact, I do not think it is a stretch for me to say we do not even think about walking — we just walk.

But apparently, some people never fully grasped some of the finer concepts involved in the art of walking. Lucky for you, I am here to enlighten you on the intricate etiquette of walking.

Walking in a row with all your friends and linking your arms together to form a "best friends forever" chain is not OK, partly because people who do this will likely not be friends two weeks from now. If you and your friends have to physically connect yourselves to have a conversation, something is wrong. Obviously, you and your friends need to be educated on the first challenge of multitasking: walking and talking without the physical support of others in order to complete the walking portion of the task.

The only time you should walk in rows is if you are snapping your fingers in unison for the sake of creating one of the most memorable scenes in cinematic history. Otherwise, move over and make some room for the rest of us to pass you and get as far away from your inane conversation as possible.

In the same vein, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk to have a conversation and thereby blocking everyone behind you is equally annoying. If the person you are talking to is important enough to warrant a delay in your arrival to your destination, then they should be important enough to pull aside and sit down somewhere not on the sidewalk.

It is especially bad if you are one of those people who stops to talk to someone and then glares maliciously if the person behind you runs into you, as if it was his or her fault and not yours.

I also often wonder if many of the people on campus need to re-learn which side is right and which is left. The reason being is many people seem to not know which side of the sidewalk is the right side. Now, in this case, the word "right" does indeed indicate both physical side and correctness.

Since elementary school, we have been taught to walk on the right side. Somehow, people think since they are in college, this rule no longer applies. It does.

A slightly less prominent issue, but still deserving of mention, is texting while walking. It is only less prominent because most our generation has mastered this, but there are still people out there who cannot do both. I urge you to know your own limitations — if walking and texting is beyond your capabilities, then just wait until you are stationary. No one will think less of you.

I only say these things to make the lives of MU students easier. In the next few weeks, walking to class is only going to become more frustrating with the decline of the temperature and the increase in the bulk of everyone's clothing. Let's do each other a favor and remove one variable from the walking equation: poor walking etiquette.