Guest Column:

A message from Tracy Fisher's roommate

By Catie Lau, freshman

Published Oct. 23, 2009

My friend and roommate Tracy Fisher passed away Monday.

Passed away — it seems like such a small, harmless phrase. Like she was just here for a visit, and has since moved on. It is not a big enough bundle of words to carry all that it is, all that it means.

Tuesday would have been her 19th birthday. There is an autographed picture of Paul Rudd waiting at the bottom of my closet. I was going to wake her up at 12:01 to give it to her. I don't know what I'm going to do with it now. I don't know much of anything. All I know for sure is that there is one less wonderful, sunny, intelligent human being to help make our own time here a little easier.

That's the kind of person she was. She was always a happy girl, there's just no other way to put it. She made everyone laugh all the time, even during something as monotonous as studying for a midterm. A part of me thinks she would have been rather irritated that she did all that studying for nothing. That was one of the curious things about her — even when she was angry or sad, there was always just a little silver lining, and she found it.

When I first met her, I had two immediate impressions: the first was that we were going to be friends for a very long time, and the second was that she had a lot to learn from me. I am convinced that we would have been friends long after college, but I was wrong about the second. I know now that we had everything to learn from each other. I wish she could have known how much more I had to gain from being her friend than the other way around.

It took me about two hours to be jealous of Tracy. She came to this school already with dozens of friends (all via Facebook, of course) who all vied for her attention every hour of the day. To this I can attest, seeing as I was the one who woke up to her phone getting a text at all hours of the night. She was one of those people who had that certain something that draws people to them. I don't think I've ever drawn people to me in that way. I never begrudged her this innate ability, but I did wish that some of it would rub off on me. She always told me that all I needed to do was give up my Facebook boycott. She was probably right. Sorry Tracy, I'm still not getting one.

She left behind a great number of shocked and heartbroken people. To her the members of her Freshman Interest Group, Sigma Alpha Epsilon Pi sisters, the Hatch Batch, even all of her professors: She never had a bad word to say against any of you — she appreciated all of you for the incredible individuals you are. To her best friend, and my Dallas twin: She missed you more than she could articulate, and she was planning a surprise trip to visit you for your birthday. To her family, I honestly don't know what to say. I feel as though I've stolen her from you when she needed you most. Logically, this is not the case, but I still feel it is, and I'm sorry.

It was raining when I started writing this, but it has since stopped. The sun is shining through the clouds, just enough to make itself known. I am not a religious person and have no thoughts on the afterlife one way or the other, but I'd like to think that Tracy is reading this, somehow, and making her presence known. I pray with all my heart that she is somewhere where she can watch "Gossip Girl" and where "Arrested Development" isn't canceled and she and Paul Rudd can have at least a dozen beautiful children together. If you know her, you'll know I can wish her nothing better than that.