Ex-NFL player Tuaolo speaks as part of Coming Out Week

Tuaolo played in the NFL nine years and came out in 2002.

By Emily Durfey

Published Oct. 8, 2009

In a highlight event of Coming Out Week, former NFL player Esera Tuaolo spoke Wednesday at Bengal Lair. Tuaolo came out as gay in 2002 on the sports program, "Real Sports," after a nine-year NFL career.

"When I first said those words for the first time, I felt like a burden was lifted," Tuaolo said in his presentation. "It was like this huge mountain just crumbled. I felt light as a feather. I'm glad that I'm happier and healthier, and I'm glad that my children will look and see that they're proud of who they truly are. It is difficult raising children while in the closet."

LGBTQ Student Services coordinator Ryan Black said Tuaolo has been a lifelong hero to him and was thrilled about the opportunity to bring him here as a guest speaker.

"I have followed him ever since he first came out on national TV," Black said. "I thought he would be absolutely fantastic for Coming Out Week. I would love people to understand what a difficult process it can be to come out especially when someone feels like they're on their own."

Tuaolo is the third former NFL player to come out about his sexual orientation; zero players have come out while still playing. He once spoke to NFL rookies as part of sensitivity training, including speaking of his feelings while in the locker room, listening to jokes made by his teammates and the drinking problems he faced outside of it.

"If someone had found out, I would have had everything taken away," Tuaolo said. "I drank out of fear of being outed. I went to work and I didn't feel safe. I was able to have my anger and aggression channeled into hitting."

Tuaolo spoke of how he enjoys traveling to schools and corporations to speak and share his opinions.

"My goal is to motivate," Tuaolo said. "Live your life and be true to yourself. You are the young generation that is going to go forward and educate people and do the right thing and that is why I am here. I'm gay, but being gay does not define me."

Tuaolo also talked about his hope that same-sex couples will someday be able to marry.

"There's going to be a day where we'll all look back and laugh," Tuaolo said. "I pray that I'll see it before I die. I would love to get married.

Black said he was thrilled with the size of the audience that came to listen to Tuaolo speak.

"This is one of the biggest turnouts for a coming out event ever," Black said.

Junior Emily Colvin was also thrilled about the opportunity to listen to Tuaolo speak about his experiences.

"I think it's an eye-opener to some people who don't understand that such a masculine man can be a gay man," she said. "A gay person can be anyone."

Coming Out Week will conclude Friday with special events such as a pride and rainbow crafts fair noon to 4 p.m. and Queer Happy Hour at The Heidelberg from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m.