Column:
I can't take it anymore, Pinkel
Published Nov. 10, 2009
Look, Gary Pinkel. Things just aren't working out. I'm ending this relationship. It's over.
It's not you, it's me. Wait, no. That's a lie. It is you.
You just don't have your crap together. You're not giving me any effort anymore. You're not trying. Your offense is a disaster. Your defense is inconsistent. Your quarterback is the newly discovered reciprocal of Iowa junior quarterback Ricky Stanzi (good in the first half, atrocious in the second). You just threw away a perfect opportunity to win the Big 12 North.
The rest of the North basically handed it to you. All I asked you to do was win four lousy games. It wasn't like I asked you to give me the moon. It was Baylor, Iowa State, Kansas State and Kansas. Was that too much to ask for?
But no. You can't even beat Baylor. You let that nobody freshman quarterback Nick Florence walk all over you. The most yards he had thrown in a game before you: 235. The most passing touchdowns in a game: one. He torched you for 433 yards and three touchdowns.
Where's your excuse? There isn't one. Your secondary is some of the worst I've seen, and I sat through Kansas City Chiefs' games when they had Greg Robinson as their defensive coordinator. You've got to figure something out.
Sophomore quarterback Blaine Gabbert can't seem to finish a game. You don't know when to use the run. You don't need to be Miss Cleo to know when you're going to run. It's so obvious.
You're not even trying. Your preparation is terrible. I thought we moved on from Bowling Green. It seems not.
Your screens and dump-offs were cute in the beginning, but now they're just infuriating. Gabbert isn't anything like what you promised us, not like what you gave us the past few years. Brad Smith was amazing. Chase Daniel was brilliant. Maybe I'm just getting spoiled.
I hate to go the low-blow route, but your offense just isn't satisfying anymore. The passion is gone.
Look Gare-Bear, you're a good guy. You get me a lot of things (players). You're a great recruiter — one of the best I've ever seen.
But your coaching is what's driving us apart. I'm past beginning to think it's just the players you have that get you where you are. But when you're faced with opposition, you just fold up. I can't have that kind of man in my life.
Now men's basketball coach Mike Anderson is a real man. He wins the games he should win and wins them how he's supposed to win them. Did you see that Truman State game? 96-33? Giving up one field goal in the second half? That's sexy. Sure, it was only Truman State. But it was a for-sure win. He's reliable. That's what I need in my life, something reliable.
It was fun for a while, but I'm moving over to Mizzou Arena. You've just caused me so much disappointment and embarrassment that I don't think we can come back from this. I know you're going through a rough time; the talent is nearly non-existent, you're surrounded by coaches who know football about as much as Britney Spears does and you're getting emasculated by every coach in the Big 12 South. But I just can't do it.
Maybe I'll see you in Kansas City against Kansas on Nov. 28, but I can't make any promises. Goodbye, Gary.
Comments (13)
12:41 p.m., Nov. 10, 2009
Kevin said:
You must not remember 2004. We had a dark horse Heisman candidate. We boasted rankings in the preseason. We had many returning starters. We were the popular pick to win the North. We lost to Troy State. We failed to make a bowl. If Gary wasn't fired then, he won't be fired now.
2:08 p.m., Nov. 10, 2009
Steve said:
I think I read this column before. Oh yeah, replace the direct conversation to Pinkel with one to Gabbert, and you're Jason Whitlock, Jr. Shouldn't the Maneater require a little more originality?
9:51 p.m., Nov. 10, 2009
Diddy said:
Get over it. Every year can't be 2007. Even great programs have off years (look at OU and USC this year, they aren't exactly having great years). Gary has done more for this university than any coach in the past 40 years. He'll turn it around.
11:27 p.m., Nov. 11, 2009
Sami said:
Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. I haven't actually laughed out loud about something on the internet in a very long time. Congratulations, Matt. You're a sports journalist.
12:33 p.m., Nov. 12, 2009
Jason said:
I agree with the article. Pinkel doesn't win big games and has too many loses against teams we're favored to beat. We've never been a legit threat to the win the Big 12 championship. We don't have the fate of nebraska being "down" anymore or enough nfl players to carry Pinkel and staff to a Big 12 North title.
1:48 p.m., Nov. 12, 2009
Fan said:
Shut up...if we called for a coaches job every rebuilding year we would not have a program...you are a moron. Who do you want to coach the team, Dan Hawkins...come on man. Being a fan (or journalist) doesn't mean ripping the team in one down year. I hope you fail all of your classes and end up transfering to KU, we don't need fans like you at this school.
7:57 a.m., Nov. 13, 2009
Football player said:
You're an idiot. You have no clue what it takes to win. You have no clue about coaching. You have no idea what kind of insane effort, passion, and preparation goes into all of this. You have no idea of the blood, sweat, and tears that go into every game that you have the privilege of watching. Somehow, you have the audacity to rip into a man's lifework from your computer chair with this smug, poorly written, whiny excuse of an article. If I had to guess, based solely on your picture, I would say that you didn't play a lot of sports in your life. I'm 100% sure that you have no experience coaching. Until you have some semblance of an idea about what you're talking about, I suggest you brush up on your writing skills so that the student body doesn't have to suffer through your garbage articles again.
8:12 p.m., Nov. 14, 2009
Dom said:
Crap. Garbage. Written by an idiot. That's how I describe your article. We all expected this to be a rebuilding year going in, and just because we wailed on Illinois, you got your hopes high. The fact is that we have a great team, and terrific coaching staff, but that we are rebuilding. As for Blaine...you forget that Chase was nothing special his first year either, and though he had moments of brilliance, he had many mistakes too. Same thing is happening with Blaine. Don't fault the man. If you were a real fan, you wouldn't be complaining. But you aren't. You are a sad, sad, bandwagon of a 'fan.' You claim to be all about the team when they play good, and when they don't, you rip them to shreds to feel good about yourself. Do us all a favor and do one of two things. Option one, shut up and move to Lawrence. Option two, put your balls back on and be a real fan, supporting not whining. Your choice.
5:34 p.m., Nov. 16, 2009
b-ball said:
maybe you shouldn't bitch about ur readers on ur facebook if you'd like to keep writing for the maneater
9:22 p.m., Nov. 16, 2009
Nick said:
Ha, I'm sure all of those criticizing Matt saying that they hope he fails out of Journalism school and should move to Lawrence, Kansas are stand up students and citizens yourselves. Don't be sure so sure that anyone wants you or your apparently petty maturity level enrolled in your current school in the field of your choice, either. That being said, this is a fine article. Sure, a little Whitlock-esque, but what's wrong with drawing a little inspiration from a successful journalist that Matt obviously reads with frequency being from Kansas City? At no point in this article did Matt say he was discontinuing his fanship with Missouri football. He is simply disgruntled with the coaching of Gary Pinkel this year, clearly. What is the problem with this? Rebuilding or not, MU has lost quite a few games that it should have won. While possibly not all Pinkel's fault, some blame has to fall on the coaching staff, no? The running game has been nearly non-existent at certain points this year, as sometimes Coach Pinkel simply refuses to use his backs. There have also been some questionable plays run this year. Gary Pinkel makes millions of dollars a year. I'm sure he can handle a slight bit of criticism. It is this criticism that possibly helps make coaches and athletes strive to be better. Perhaps instead of blindly following a team and ignoring the truth in the team's faults, the "fans" on this board should take an objective look at sports sometime, as Matt obviously has. Next time you want to voice your disagreement when you believe someone sounds like a buffoon, you should make sure you don't end up making yourself look even more assinine with your comments.
1:08 a.m., Nov. 18, 2009
steve said:
A little Whitlock-esque? Drawing a little inspiration? If one could plagiarize theme, then this would be it. I just would think columnists here would want to be original. Just a joke of a column, in every sense of the word.
7:48 a.m., Nov. 10, 2009
Matt said:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. You are a joke. Where would we be without pinkel? Nowhere in the B12 North conversation, ever. You are a god damn fool. Transfer to Kansas