Column:

What's in a name?

By ChaToyya Sewell

Published Nov. 17, 2009

My name is ChaToyya Eryn ChaNayle. Through the years I've endured derision, cackles and mispronunciation. Let's ignore my middle names. Things might get a bit more complicated with those, but ChaToyya is pretty straightforward. Cha — as in Charlotte, Toy — as in a children's plaything, Ya — and if you can't figure that out, there is little help for you.

An introductory mispronunciation is fine. I've done it too, but this continual ignorance of what is my name is not. The subtext is my name is merely a stereotype, freely available as someone's punch line, ignoring that my name has a meaning and a history. And so what if my name was made up or an inventively spelled version of an existing name? At one point, someone made up Sarah as well.

After stumbling onto a thread about my publicly indignant ways on the Free Republic, I was subjected to a multitude of comments filled with derision for my name. Commenter KentrappedinliberalSeattle takes the insulting route claiming "That's not a 'name;' it's a winning Scrabble hand between two dyslexic stoners." Har har. Commenter McGruff takes the obtuse route asking "Cha Toyya [sic] Sewell? What da hell kinda name is dat?" A legal one, next. And then there are the mature commenters, such as Responsibility2nd, who said, "I wish these journo-wanna be's like Chew Toy would step up and name names." I get it, punny!

Events in this country do neither exist in a vacuum nor are they isolated from the past even as they march toward the future. African-American naming practices are not excluded from this. It seems logical to me after the forced separation from African traditions and culture and the forced assimilation to slave culture, there would be a movement to begin to exist on our own terms, names being an example of this.

But this is not a defense of African-American or other ethnic- and class-based naming practices. Not because I think ill of them but because I am more concerned with why people think they are appropriate to make fun of in the first place. Names are an inalienable part of people. Some hate theirs. Some love theirs. Some (like me) are fiercely protective of theirs.

When you have a name deemed "non-normative" or "non-traditional," people feel entitled to comment about it and ask you questions, like the non-physical version of touching my hair. Generally comments run along three types: First, you have the fawning types, the "that is sooooo cool, you black people are so creative with names types" — now, I don't take issue with compliments, but what I do take issue with is the monolithic brush all black people are painted with, as if we all do the same things.

Then you have your overly concerned types — the "I'm all for naming your children what you want, but these names hold them back. I've never seen a (insert stereotypical black name here) work in an office, etc." I'd like you to first think if telling someone to their face you think their name is damaging their opportunities is socially acceptable. I am aware of linguistic discrimination. I've been on the phone and heard the pitch drop at the sound of my name.

I don't think limiting the agency of black parents is any way to defeat the racism of others. And finally you get the rude ones, who generally repeat your name indignantly and begin laughing. There are rules for interacting with larger society, and I'm pretty sure one of them is not to laugh about people's names. If you don't have that social skill set, we probably can't be friends.