Column:
Facebook does not substitute for real life
Published Dec. 1, 2009
If anything at college is universal, it is Facebook. Everyone has a Facebook account, save those select few who absolutely refuse to get on the bandwagon. It's an unspoken understanding of college students just as much time is spent on the social networking site as is spent doing homework.
At the beginning, no one could have predicted the perceived significance Facebook would have in users' lives. The Facebook revolution began several years ago and has not stopped growing since.
Facebook is an integral part of people's lives. Relationships are not legitimate until they are "Facebook official." Both members of the relationship need to have a Facebook and be in a relationship on Facebook in order to actually be in a relationship. Otherwise, how else will people know if you really are dating someone? It's not like they could ask you in some other manner, such as in person. How archaic.
Entire social lives play out on Facebook, from the planning of a get-together to the get-together itself to the posting of the pictures from the get-together taken explicitly for the purpose of posting on Facebook to the recollections of the get-together at a later date on someone's wall. If there are no pictures of you going out with friends, then you obviously did not go out and do not have friends.
Speaking of friends, the emphasis on the number of Facebook friends someone has is ridiculous. Some people's social networks are bigger than others. And you cannot stop people from adding everyone they have ever known on Facebook just to make it look like they have a lot of friends. Deal with it.
Before anyone gets upset and calls me a hypocrite because I have and use Facebook, let me be clear. I have nothing against Facebook. It is convenient and, most of the time, useful. I am just confused about why it is such a priority in people's lives.
The drama Facebook can create appalls me. Thing 1 gets upset over Thing 2's status and all hell breaks loose. Or Thing 1 comments on Thing 2's wall post in sarcasm and Thing 2 takes it seriously. Comments like "Oh Em Gee, Thing 1 blocked me on Facebook! I don't know why. All I did was kiss her boyfriend." are not uncommon.
Seriously though, do we not have anything else to do but float around Facebook and try to catch a glimpse into other people's lives? I know human beings are naturally curious creatures, but at some point we need to get hobbies that do not include Facebook-stalking the girl you hated in seventh grade because she stole your boyfriend of one week. It is not significant. There is so much more to life than Facebook.
Let's stop worrying about relationships being Facebook official and more about having real relationships. You know, those things in which you talk to people in person, hang out with them because you want to and not just for the pictures and ask them how their life is going instead of reading their Facebook status. It could change your life — or at least how much time you spend Facebook-stalking your ex-girlfriend. Sounds like a win-win situation to me.
Comments (6)
11:36 p.m., Dec. 1, 2009
Mankind said:
What it looked like when the author of this article wrote it: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_niPwTW3rBbU/SHYXM8h0XBI/AAAAAAAABFI/0p8mNiNG-fA/s400/chimp_at_typewriter.jpg
9:38 a.m., Dec. 3, 2009
Garrett Bergquist said:
This is why I do not use social media. It's just one more thing I have to worry about, and it's a big privacy hassle. Real-world friends are the ones you can turn to when you need them. The Wall Street Journal had a great article recently about a group of men who has met for dinner every Wednesday since the late 1950s. These men went on to become leaders in a variety of major industries, and a key part of that was the networking they did with each other through those dinners.
6:49 p.m., Jan. 31, 2010
sigh said:
The problems described lie within people, not a social networking site. Perhaps I should explain. An inanimate object does not create drama. A person does. Do not blame the spoon for making you fat. The scenarios described under the drama complaint section are just as likely to happen in real life. Facebook did not create them. That's just where they happened. You just gave facebook a lot of weight. I thought you were meaning to do the opposite? Also: college kids like to waste time. Facebook is a pretty reasonable way to do it. Beats TV in my opinion. Or what I'm doing now, for that matter.
6:57 p.m., Jan. 31, 2010
Concered (hi :D) said:
I had an enjoyable holiday season. It was enjoyable. Those two sentences I just wrote had the same amount of thought and care you have put into your large portfolio of maneater articles. You are not talented/gifted in any way when it comes to expressing thoughts via words...although you have an incredible amount of courage to put your name (repeatedly) on such terrible work. Facebook is one of the most valuable entities on the planet as of now. They are being begged to end private shareholding and to enter the public market. Do you have any idea how ignorant you appear when you attempt to write about more things you have no idea about? Maneater, are you kidding with this one? Honestly.
10:21 p.m., May 11, 2010
Ashleen Woods said:
I think most people are making valid points here--that is, when a point's being made. First off, the article itself speaks a lot of truth. Those getting offended, may do so because they don't let Facebook rule their life: they're smarter than that. So maybe people are taking this article and feeling offended because of its...slightly callus language (I'm totally guilty of this sometimes, I don't even mean to do it.) If not a drama pusher, then you needn't feel offended. Second, I like some of what "sigh" said (no name...huh.) I agree the object itself is not the problem. A knife in my kitchen is only going to kill me if I A: fall on it, or B: get stabbed by someone else. Is the knife to blame? No. But it did kill me just the same...uh...I hope I don't get stab e-mails after I write this. What's important is the person gives the object action, not the object itself. One thing you can say about Facebook, though, is that it's an enabler. The type of people who cause melodrama are bad enough in person, but when they get on the Internet--where they can hide behind the computer and not confront a person face to face--they take it as free license to be an asshole. No repercussions because you could be a hundred miles away, or further. So why not be a dick? You can get away with it. I think that's one thing Hall was saying (by all means, if I'm completely off and just putting words in your mouth, correct me.) The other point she's making, which is valid with some people, is that the inanimate object has become more important than the people who inspired it. Meaning, yes, this tool helps people stay in contact with one another and supplement their personal relations (in person as much as on the computer,) but in many cases, the object takes over one's life and replaces that personal relationship. I don't think Hall was trying to say Facebook is evil, I think she's just warning us against getting too wrapped up in the media itself, and miss out on doing some real, genuine living with your friends. I personally find it amazing how these social tools allow us to gain knowledge and give input. It's great how in reality I would probably have never come across any of these comments, unless it was in a newspaper commentary section. Here, we're able to speak our minds and reach a far larger audience. That's pretty cool because now you can have your own personal group of friends that you spend time with, while also having the capability of speaking with people around the country and the world. Thanks for your ears, or eyes! Ashleen Woods
3:38 p.m., Dec. 1, 2009
Nate said:
1. Facebook validates real life. 2. Facebook and Twitter augment real life connections and events, and make those events happen IRL. What came first, the real life friend or the Facebook friend? It's not a perfect question to ask, but we all had real friends first and Facebook friends later.