Column: Spears to blame for world's craziness
People should accept the crazy and move on.
Published March 30, 2009
It is a sick, sad, twisted world we live in, where white-collar criminals steal from Holocaust survivors (Really Bernie Madoff? Really?), Natasha Richardson is dead before Lindsay Lohan and the new Facebook layout sucks more than anyone previously thought possible.
Who's to blame?
It's Britney, bitch.
To be honest, I'm more of a fan of Ms. Spears than I care to admit in writing. But I would like to present to you the theory that things in your world, and most importantly mine, have become a wee bit off since her latest album Circus became available to the masses Dec. 2. This craziness can be directly linked to this seemingly insignificant musical and cultural event. That's because Circus has subliminal messages telling all of its listeners to go out into the world and act bat shit crazy.
Britney's comeback in recent months has proved nothing short of phenomenal. But almost concurrently, society has seen much of its sanity ravaged by economic crisis or Rush Limbaugh's opiate fueled rages. It only makes sense that we would need some medium of escapist entertainment to keep us all out of the collective loony bin. What better medium than an actual circus?
A circus is one of the last few bastions of sanctioned abnormality we have. It's the only place on earth where you can watch a svelte blonde beauty magically appear from under a rock and ride a unicycle on an elephant's back. Although for this example to work, Elisabeth Hasselbeck on "The View" does not count. Next to these freakishly entertaining, or entertainingly freakish, acts, the trials, quirks and "WTF moments" of the so-called normal world outside the tent seem almost trivial. Losing your home in the mortgage crisis can't be as painful as what that sword swallower had to endure when he messed up during rehearsals. The idea of a ridiculously popular book and movie series about glittery vampires doesn't seem too obscure when you're watching grown men and monkeys make a human pyramid together.
But Brit has merely capitalized on this insanity. We all saw her live through it in the tabloids. Oh, I was the only one following that religiously? Oops.
Anyway, now that her new album compares her life and music to a circus, she's telling the masses it's OK to be a little wild.
Life will throw all kinds of craziness at you anyway. If you accept this up front, maybe a world where white-collar criminals steal from Holocaust survivors (Really, Bernie Madoff? Really?), Natasha Richardson is dead before Lindsay Lohan and Facebook looks like the bastard offspring of Twitter seems a little less crazy.