Column:

Churro stand better alternative to Bro Jed

By Lindsay Eanet

Published April 2, 2009

Spring is here, friends. And with the warmer weather comes the return of one of Columbia's most polarizing institutions: the return of Brother Jed and his many hecklers to Speakers Circle. And it's always the same spectacle: the singers ("There was a man who saved our souls and Jesus was his name-O"), the ones who call his wife a slut and the knuckleheads who legitimately try to argue with him.

And I'll admit, I used to take part in this ritual. I loved watching the spectacle unfold. But I grew up. I realized everyone who spends time reacting to Brother Jed's hate speech and let his words fuel their ire is just wasting their time and sense of moral indignation. You're better off spending the time you would spend in Speakers Circle taking out the recycling or getting down to your business socks or buying yourself a Coke slushie or, oh, I don't know, maybe actually going to class for once.

As for the space itself, Speakers Circle, the space that is supposed to be the place for free speech and meaningful dialogue on this campus, it's disheartening to see it (at least on the days when it's nice out) commandeered by the same ridiculous mob all the time.

That's not to say Speakers Circle is only an arena of foolishness and hate. Many student organizations -- from KCOU to Mizzou for Malawi to the College Republicans and Democrats around election time -- have used the space and nearly always to positive means and ends. But we could do so, so much more, and so I will offer up a few suggestions of better uses for Speakers Circle than the never-ending preacher heckling.

A better use of the space would be for us to put in a giant inflatable kiddie pool and allow people to splash at will. Heck, it doesn't even have to be filled with water. Put K-Y Jelly in it and see who takes the bait.

Another idea -- two words: Churro. Stand. Everyone likes churros (seriously, I dare you to write an op-ed to the Forum section if you're the only person on this campus who doesn't like churros). It's hard to preach hate or rant like an idiot with a mouthful of tasty, tasty deep-fried churro goodness.

We could see the space as the base camp for a giant campus-wide game of zombies vs. humans. We should do this anyway.

The Society for Creative Anachronism could use the space as a new practice field. It would certainly make everyone's walk to class a tad bit more interesting.

But the idea that I think could actually work here is this. I propose we start a student-run Speakers Circle lecture series, where students and community members (why let the university experience elude those who aren't directly involved in academia?) hold weekly teach-ins about a topic or idea they feel strongly about, be it neo-conservatism or anarchism, the legacy of hip-hop or the art of fly fishing, anything would be fair game. The larger campus and city institutions, if need be, could even take a session to talk about important decisions coming up or opportunities to vote. And of course, there would be opportunities for discussion and feedback. No one will come here just to be talked at.

So think about it, y'all. Think about how much better it would be if Speakers Circle were a place of diverse topics and perspectives, a space of learning rather than ignorance.

Oh, but there can still be churros. There can always still be churros.