Column:

Equal needs should mean equal treatment

The need for love (and music) unites us all.

By Lindsay Eanet

Published April 9, 2009

A few years ago, my grandfather sent me a video of a Japanese cast performing "Fiddler on the Roof." At first I was just really puzzled, seeing a production without a shaggy, pasty Tevye as its lead. But now I just find it incredible -- the Japanese Tevye plays the part with finesse. The story and ideas still ring true even in a language and culture completely foreign to me, far from Broadway and certainly far from that little village of Anatevka.

Last Sunday, I went to see a choir perform Mozart's "Requiem" at a tiny Carmelite church in the old quarter of Pamplona, Spain. The place was packed -- all ages and types. When we got there, it was standing room only. The performance was incredible, and I started thinking towards the end about how we could have been anywhere, from Nebraska to Nigeria, from Denmark to Thailand, from Illinois to Pamplona, and it would have been the same "Requiem" -- the same dramatic swells at the beginning, the same thundering "Lacrimosa." Some pieces are just truly universal. That may be what makes them so great.

I was hoping to have some great zen-like epiphany, using this silly little column to reveal some larger truth about universalism today, about our interconnectedness as a human race, with the Passover and Easter seasons upon us.

This week, two states legalized same-sex marriage and Columbia City Council passed a domestic partnership registry, which would grant couples the same benefits. I'd like to think this has something to do with this larger truth of interconnectedness I've been looking for. Maybe it's part of an impending sea of change in national policy: the realization that we, all of us, regardless of state or nation or who we climb into bed with at night, all essentially need the same thing, and that thing is love.

And it's a polarizing issue, and certainly there are plenty of people now, as there will always be, who disagree, who get angry and wail about activist judges. Even as of last night, while I was skimming the comments left on the Columbia Missourian Web site or reading this week's installment from my favorite dueling partner, Mr. Marcus Bowen, I noticed a lot of tension in these reactions, a lot of frustration (which then will likely lead to accusations of bigotry from people on the contrary to Bowen or to anyone else who shares his views, which will then lead to whining about the lack of tolerance for conservative perspectives in Columbia media, and you get the idea).

So what I'm asking today is simple. In the face of this decision, or any other, whether you're on the supporting side or not, all I'm asking is that we remember to, as a former teacher of mine, Dan Cohen, once said, "disagree with dignity." We all need love. We all need music, though maybe not Mozart. We all put our pants on the same way. Now once we get past that, let's break down the issue without attacking anyone's character or family or anything.

There will always be people who shout some sort of disapproval for someone else from the rooftops. And yes, it's often a disapproval rooted in ignorance and one with which I will vehemently disagree. But the truth is, we need to get over our ideological disagreements and move on. Like the movements of the "Requiem," we are all connected and need to act as such in order to survive.