Column:

Rape Awareness Month warns students on safety measures

By Erica Zucco

Published Aug. 28, 2009

When my parents dropped me off at school freshman year, they stocked my room with bottled water, lots of paper towels and three cans of pepper spray. It was American Defender brand and my dad had blacked out the "a," "m" and "n" with permanent marker so each one read Erica Defender. I now understand all parents are pretty protective when their ducks leave the nest for the first year of school, but pepper spray? I'll be on campus. When will I need pepper spray?

I soon understood. Walking around campus late at night after meetings, heading home through East Campus where I live and especially finding my car in a parking garage after dark, I was definitely jittery. My pepper spray made me feel at least a little bit safer, but not much. MU is a pretty safe college campus, but like anywhere — you're never 100 percent safe. There are violent crimes everywhere. According to a Center for Problem-Oriented Policing report, the most common violent crime on college campuses nationwide is rape.

When I hear that word, my heart skips a beat and I feel sick to my stomach, a sentiment I think a lot of people echo. It's hard to hear about. It's hard to talk about. And so, a lot of the time, we don't. When my parents gave me the safety talk, they covered just about every possible dangerous scenario that could happen in college — but never said that word. We didn't talk about it. And that is one of the biggest obstacles to preventing rape — not only that we don't talk about it, but that because we don't, so many of us don't even define it correctly.

Well, we need to. And since September — which starts Tuesday — is Rape Awareness Month on campus, now is a good time to do it. It's always going to be hard to hear about. It's always going to be hard to talk about — for everyone, not just survivors. But right now about 25 percent of college women have experienced rape or attempted rape since the age of 14, according to a U.S. Department of Justice report, and we can only bring that number down by spreading awareness and thinking differently about the ways we prevent sexual assault.

There are many things we can do on an organizational level, but I want to encourage you to educate yourself and make efforts toward preventing rape on an individual level. We assume only women need to be aware of the dangers of rape and they're responsible for learning self-defense in the case that they'll meet a stranger in a dark alley or a guy at a party.

But men need to learn these things, too. Everyone needs to understand rape. Everyone needs to work to prevent it. I once saw a sign that said, "She's breathing fast — is it because she's excited or scared? Ask, don't assume. There are more signs that say 'no' just the word 'no.'" Making sure all people understand that if an act is not consensual, it's not OK — that's the goal.

This month, take some time to learn. And every month, look out for your friends at parties. Make sure no one walks home alone. And what's often overlooked — having a healthy conversation with a potential sexual partner or your significant other before you practice any sexual act — even if you've done it before. Be open. Be honest. If you're too uncomfortable to talk about it, you shouldn't be doing it in the first place.

The Relationship and Sexual Violence Prevention Center will be hosting several events this month, including presentations on sexual assault, a survivor's quilt, Take Back the Night and a film about sexual assault on college campuses.

To my dad, pepper spray was a protective measure. I feel a little safer with it hooked onto my key chain. But the key to safety on college campuses isn't Mace — it's knowledge and perceptual change. Become a part of that change.