RSVP gives voice to the silenced

RSVP encouraged men and women to work together to end sexual violence.

By Megan Donohue

Published Sept. 18, 2009

This week, Rape Awareness Week, the Relationship and Sexual Violence Prevention Center has hosted a number of activities to spread awareness and publicize resources for victims of sexual violence.

Events included a sexual assault meeting Monday, a men's candlelight vigil in Speakers Circle on Tuesday and the Take Back the Night rally and march Thursday.

"Our main goal is just to raise awareness that sexual assaults are occurring and to promote our office," RSVP Center co-coordinator Kim Scates said. "It's our chance to let the campus know that we are here, to aid survivors, friends of survivors and to just be a resource for anyone on campus who wants to get to know more about issues of relationship and sexual violence."

Kelly Lucero, sexual assault outreach program coordinator and outreach program coordinator at The Shelter for Victims of Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault, said sexual assaults are shockingly common.

"This is probably one of the most common violent crimes that occurs to students here," Lucero said at the rally. "It's the thing that happens the most."

At the sexual assault meeting, trained RSVP staff members spoke about sexual assault, the stereotypes of a perpetrator and a victim and how RSVP defines rape.

"We distinguish between the legal definition of Missouri and what we like to call the social definition because it takes into account the social implications of a society that has such a large rate of sexual assault," said Mitchell, speaking for the RSVP center. "Our office defines rape as any sexual conduct against a person's will. The state of Missouri defines forcible rape as penile vaginal penetration without consent, and of course that leaves out a bunch of people."

Gender bias was brought up as an issue at both the meeting and the candlelight vigil the next night. Not only are men raped, but the rape of women whom they know and love affects them, said Benjamin Garrett, a representative from The Shelter.

"We know that most rape is committed by men, but we also know that most men are not rapists," Garrett said. "If I am walking through an alley, especially as a larger man, and I see a woman in that alley, she could very likely see me as a potential perpetrator of violence against her and be afraid of me. I don't like living in a society where we have to be afraid of each other as a matter of principle."

Avoiding stereotypically dangerous scenarios does not decrease the possibility of rape as much as society likes to claim, Mitchell said.

"Unfortunately you are more likely to know your perpetrator in some capacity," Mitchell said. "We hear stories all the time of it occurring between co-workers or between partners in a romantic relationship. A lot of women will say 'I never thought my boyfriend would rape me, I never thought my husband would rape me.' "

Students must watch out for each other in high-risk areas, such as parties and parking garages, as these locations are still not safe, Lucero said.

"The party is the most dangerous place in town," Lucero said. "This is where the vast majority of this happens, not in a dark alley, but in a big giant house full of people."

At the candlelight vigil, men from the community and campus gathered in Speakers Circle with a small group of women who were either survivors of rape or there to lend support and lit up the night with candles and personal stories or words of encouragement.

Rape is not an issue to be dealt with by women alone, but rather by men and women as allies, Garrett said.

"Rape and sexual assault affects men, and it affects me personally," Garrett said. "I always had that recognition that it really was a men's issue. Even men who don't rape are confined by a society where rape is so prevalent that every man is a potential rapist."

It is a shame more men don't become involved in the movement, but many probably don't know how they can, Garrett said.

"They feel like to become an ally would somehow infringe upon their manhood, their masculinity," he said.

The Take Back the Night Rally opened with time to create posters for the march and a speech by Lucero.

"Rapists are cowards because it's easy and because they can," Lucero said. "That's the reason that 70 percent of the developmentally disabled are victims of sexual assault. Rapists don't normally go after people who are equal in the fight. They want to be able to find somebody who won't fight back."

Following the rally, roughly 100 people marched through the streets of the campus with a police escort and signs such as, "Real men don't hit women," and chanting, "Two, four, six, eight, no more violence, no more rape," for safe streets and an end to relationship and sexual violence.

The night ended with a survivor speak out, where emotions and support were high.

"Silence is the voice of compliance," Giles said. "We don't do that here at MU."