Column:

Running down the aisle

By Christina Stiehl

Published Sept. 28, 2009

As a senior in college, my goals include finishing college, attending graduate school and landing an intriguing job in a new city. Unfortunately, many of my peers have one ambition — getting married. As soon as possible.

On Thursday, my English professor asked my class if marriage was their greatest desire. Although I shook my head, I was shocked when everyone around me raised their hands. Sure, I would like to be married at some point in my life, but it's certainly not No. 1 on my desire list. I had no idea that in 2009, I'm in the minority of young people who believe our entire lives shouldn't revolve around finding a partner with whom "me" becomes a "we."

Although I still feel like an immature college student, I have several peers who are already married or plan to tie the knot soon after graduation. Although I don't doubt all of these couples are madly in love, I believe many young people my age view marriage as simply the next step in middle-class society's grand scheme: finish high school, graduate college, get married, have 2.5 children and a golden retriever and live happily ever after.

Is that all that life is really about?

In early elementary school, we are taught we can be whatever we want to be. As time progresses, we learn though we're probably not going to wind up in the NBA, we still have a sea of options. And for those of us lucky enough to pursue a higher education degree, our choices are even broader.

Although I took this advice to heart, I wasn't aware our teachers were subconsciously telling us girls that "go to college" really meant, "go earn your M.R.S. degree."

From a logical standpoint, being married so soon just doesn't make sense. At 21, we're still extremely young and probably not completely independent from our parents. I don't believe we have the mental capacity to handle the stress and hard work that accompany making a marriage work. And many young women become so caught up in the excitement of planning a wedding that they fail to see past their special day to the monotony of a life-long commitment to one person.

Not to mention our tastes change as we mature. What I'm looking for in a mate now is certainly different than what I pursued in high school and will probably change as I grow older. And since my generation is expected to live into our late 90s, why rush into settling down with the first decent person we meet?

I know everyone has his or her own reason for marrying so young, whether it be religion, pregnancy or being so in love, "until death do us part" can't come soon enough. Just because I enjoy being independent and want to become engaged at an age in which my fiancé can afford a ring that won't embarrass me 10 years down the road doesn't mean everyone else does.

Call me optimistic, but I believe marriage should be viewed as something to pursue only if you meet your perfect match, not because it's the next step in society's great plan. But hey, Khloe Kardashian is getting married to a guy she's known for less than a month, so to each, his or her own.