Rape and suicide victim's mother speaks out

The speaker encouraged struggling students to seek counseling.

By Jessica Silverman

Published Sept. 29, 2009

Andrea Cooper spoke from personal experience to MU students about rape, depression and suicide Monday at Jesse Hall.

The story of her daughter Kristin, an Alpha Chi Omega member who committed suicide in 1995 after being raped and falling into a deep depression, has been fueling Cooper's tour of the U.S. for the past 10 years.

Freshman Taylor Schreck said Cooper did a good job of relating her story and presenting facts to inform people of what to do if someone close to them is sexually assaulted or depressed.

"Two of my really good friends were raped," Schreck said. "(The presentation) helped reassure me about what I said to my friends when they told me, and it helped show me what I should hold back on should it ever happen again."

Sigma Sigma Sigma senior Elyse Greci said it was suggested by the sorority that all sisters attend.

"It's part of our education requirements," Greci said.

Cooper, a Florida State University Delta Delta Delta alumna, speaks to both women and men in and out of the Greek community about rape, depression and suicide awareness. Cooper said her No. 1 goal is to get students to seek counseling.

"We still have that stigma against going to a therapist," Cooper said. "The more you and I can talk about that as an open thing, the more we can work to end that."

Cooper struggled with depression before Kristin died, but said she controlled it with medication.

Although the first two years were hard, Cooper said it made her feel good she was helping somebody.

"It was like reliving that night over and over," Cooper said. "Like scratching yourself in an open wound, but I think it really made me heal better. And of course I've had tons of therapy."

Cooper and her husband came home from a New Year's Eve party to find Kristin in the living room, a fired gun and her diary lying next to her. Through Kristin's diary, Cooper learned of her daughter being raped just five months prior by a friend of two years.

"Kristin would not tell us because she felt we wouldn't believe her," Cooper said in a letter to her sorority sisters. "That it would disappoint us, or that we would make her go to the police."

Thirty-five percent of male college students said they would rape a woman if they believed they could get away with it, according to the North Seattle Community College's Web site.

"A large percentage don't see it as rape," Cooper said. "They have no idea that if they forced a drunk girl to have sex, that would be called rape, or they talk themselves into thinking (she) really wanted it."

Cooper said when she speaks on campuses, she's impressed with how empathetic and sympathetic men are.

Freshman Landon Horstman, one of the men who attended, said he came because he thought Kristin's story sounded compelling.

"There are a lot of females here and rightfully so; it's mainly a topic more important for females," Horstman said. "But I thought that it's a compelling story about this lady's struggle watching her daughter struggle, and her struggling to cope and teach others to cope with a traumatic situation, and to cope with situations without going as far as suicide."

Horstman said as a speaker, Cooper was friendly and had a great aura about her.

"You felt she was your friend, and you can tell she cared about the audience and wanted to inform people," Horstman said. "She didn't feel sorry for herself. She seemed to see it as a test from God, it motivates her to enlighten people about rape. That's admirable."

Carrie Dent, Alpha Chi Omega vice president of risk management, said she would not like to be interviewed for this story. Dent helped raise money to bring Cooper to campus.