Column: 'Avatar' depresses teens, keeps world slightly sane
Published Jan. 26, 2010
I don't watch as many movies as I ought to, but recently I found the time to see James Cameron's "Avatar" and Mr. T's '80s inspirational kids' flick "Be Somebody... or Be Somebody's Fool."
Thinking about it now, they have more in common than you might expect. Mediocre writing and predictable messages bog them both down, but they're visually intriguing.
In Cameron's case, this is because of breathtaking computer-generated imagery. In T's case, it's because of curious wardrobe choices and frequent, jarring dance routines. But unlike Mr. T's film, Cameron's seems to be getting through to the kids.
According to CNN, “Avatar” message boards have been abuzz with fans admitting to feeling depressed after watching the movie. They claim the world of Pandora is so beautiful and engaging, they feel bored and dissatisfied with the real world. This strikes me as stupid but predictable. Teenagers have been dissatisfied with life since Adam hit puberty and decided the Garden of Eden sucked because God wouldn't let him listen to CDs with parental advisory warnings.
My gut reaction is it's insane for kids to wish to live in a stunning 3-D world filled with dull 2-D characters. As beautiful as “Avatar's” graphics are, people in real life are so much more fascinating than the movie's lazy archetypal characters.
But watching the news this week, I've realized it's better for everybody teenagers are unhappy with the real world. I would rather have kids long for fantastical worlds than to live in a real world they truly find fantastical.
Recently Pat Robertson claimed the catastrophic earthquake in Haiti was the result of an old Haitian pact with the devil. He made the astute observation that the less-sacrilegious Dominican Republic, located on the same island as Haiti, has more resorts, which means it is more prosperous financially, which is indisputable evidence God favors it more.
He actually believes this. In Pat Robertson's world, the devil has an anti-colonialist agenda he forwarded by freeing Haitian slaves, and for this horrible crime, they are punished with perpetual poverty and this recent horrific earthquake.
Putting aside the flagrant ignorance and crude capitalism of his statement, Robertson has a more creative plot than Cameron, and he actually believes it's true. It's similar to how Tom Cruise plays an average, everyday sports agent in “Jerry Maguire” and believes in an alien overlord named Xenu in real life.
If kids lived in the same world as Robertson or Cruise, they wouldn't need “Avatar” to make them feel like life is exhilarating, but they'd also be batshit insane.
Ever-sassy hockey mom Sarah Palin recently inked a deal with Fox News Network to appear on the channel as a contributor and analyst. It's enough of a stretch that she's been deemed intellectually functional enough to act as an analyst. It's even worse that she ostensibly believes she's still capable of running for public office despite quitting her job as governor and the incredibly dubious ethics of being a paid contributor and analyst for a cable news network that is guaranteed to back her should she run for office in 2012.
Looking at all these public figures, I can take solace in that teenagers are apathetic toward our lame world. The less they care, the less they're likely to be the next Palin or Robertson. Let's hope James Cameron can rush out the “Avatar” sequel quickly enough to keep our nation's youth from bringing their farfetched fantasies to real world fruition.