RSVP hosts stalking awareness night

Speakers at the event discussed signs and prevention.

By Jessica Silverman

Published Jan. 29, 2010

Jenny Dills, Missouri Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence prevention coordinator, spoke about signs of stalking, prevention, where to seek help and stalkers' intentions Wednesday night in Memorial Union.

Dills, a graduate assistant in the Rape and Sexual Violence Prevention Center, also worked in the Women's Center.

"Stalking is a pattern of behavior directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear," Dills said. "It's not what I think should make you feel uncomfortable. It's what makes you feel uncomfortable."

Dills said stalking behavior includes activities, such as unwanted contact, following or spying, spreading information or rumors and leaving unwanted presents.

"I came (to the presentation) because I have a friend that is in a potentially dangerous situation," freshman Jennessa Woolley said. "I wanted to see if I could get help for her."

Woolley said she had to delete her MySpace profile because of her ex-boyfriend's activities. Her ex still finds ways to know what she is doing on a daily basis, which meets defined stalking behavior.

"Even though I'm out of state, he left me comments and messages saying, 'I love you, come back to me,' " Woolley said. "He was going to show up and prove to me he was the right person."

Woolley said there are days when she hears from friends that he still talks about her.

RSVP center coordinator Sharon Giles said stalking is not always about romance or general obsession.

"Sometimes it's, 'I'll stick it to you and show you that I still have some kind of control,' " Giles said.

RSVP Center Co-coordinator Kim Scates said the ultimate goal of stalking is not only about sex.

"I think the goal is to instill fear in someone by letting them know (the person) knows where they are, what they're up to and who's around them, in order to make them feel unsafe," Scates said.

In response to a student's question about the line between browsing and stalking on Facebook, RSVP Center staff member Ben Tipton said the situation might be more unclear with patterned behaviors.

"It's possible to have a patterned behavior without having malicious intent," Tipton said.

Branching off Tipton's answer, Giles said when she checks friends' Facebook statuses regularly, it is about the connection of friendship and the respectful relationship she has with them.

"I'm not using the information to harm or make the person feel at risk," Giles said.

Dills said society has set up stalking to look neither malicious nor illegal. Dills cited entertainment, such as "There's Something About Mary," and songs by artists, such as Justin Timberlake and Sting.

"Sting is always watching women in his songs," Dills said. "Voyeurism has a gratifying, sexualized, almost romanticized portrayal in the media."

Dills said society shouldn't joke about stalking anymore.

"It's not a silly little cute thing he's doing," Dills said. "We need to promote people being safe on campus."

Giles said a committee is working on a sexual assault policy, and a stalking policy will take second seat.