Column: The Year of the Rabbit means a fresh start

By Mary Novokhovsky

Published Dec. 3, 2010

The Year of the Rabbit is almost upon us. I don’t know much about rabbits, except they like to make a lot of rabbit love.

Lately, I’ve been flipping through mountains of self-help books, because I’m trying to build self-awareness. Nauseating, right? I want to ring in 2011 with a sober and open mind (it kind of embarrasses me to write that in print). So as my columnist career draws to a close, I’m going to let it all hang out. Who knows when I’ll get another to chance to publicize bits of my moral inventory?

I learned the hard way I am not cut out to live in the footsteps of Hunter S. Thompson. When I think back on it now, my justifications for initial experimentation held much of their weight in the name of gonzo journalism. Of course, I never played the tape past the glamorous artistic existence, to the part where the films rolls to Thompson dead at 67 via a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head. I guess it’s easy to cut and snip the details that don’t suit your perfect picture.

For the first time in my life, I am making an honest effort to change my thinking, but I’m not doing it alone. Writing this kind of sentimental self-help stuff in a “party” college paper makes me feel awkward — but that’s exactly why I’m doing it. A little discomfort isn’t a bad thing. I have huge cravings to let loose and get schwasted. I really want to “like” the “R.I.P Four Loko” Facebook page, because that’s what “cool kids” do. But the truth is I’ve filled my fun cup to the brim, and popularity has dropped to the bottom of the priority list.

My message today is it’s OK to seek help if you have an issue. You don’t need to be an addict or on the verge of insanity; you might just need another opinion on a simple problem. Sometimes we must face the fact we can't do everything on our own. If nobody ever taught you how to build a house, you’re probably going to struggle — it’s likely you’ll fail. It’s the same for rebuilding character or making changes or decisions you’ve never had to before. There’s nothing wrong with learning from other people’s experiences and mistakes. It could save you a load of pain.

My advice for anybody who is unsure of his or her New Year's resolutions is just to be honest yourself. I’m not proud of my addiction — but that’s really just the cherry on top of the cake of vices. I can be a liar, a manipulator and an overall asshole. It’s shameful and irritating, but the first step to any real improvement is facing the issue straight on.

Drugs, sex, the internet, morning coffee, cigarettes, compulsive rituals, codependency: We’re all bound to exhibit some sort of poor coping behavior. There’s no such thing as overnight change, but it won't hurt to acknowledge the things you’ve grown dependent on today. You should know by now you can’t keep relying on tomorrow.

It’s easy to forget the things we’re grateful for when the reins of life tighten, but if you’re reading this, you’re a lucky bastard, because you’re alive. Your life might be tough, because you’re an alcoholic/drug addict, a depressive, a genius or just another, statistically average human being, but you have the opportunity to do whatever you please with your time on Earth, as long as you take real and honest action.

And with that, I’ll leave you with a few words I read somewhere not too long ago, “Rationalization, justification and masturbation are all just ways of fucking yourself.”