Column: Buying a tiger absurd, unnecessary
Published Feb. 2, 2010
Imagine this scene: 76,000 gold-clad fans screaming and cheering as a live tiger prances out of the tunnel and onto Faurot Field as "Eye of the Tiger" blares through the speakers and highlights of great MU football victories play on the video board.
What a spectacle that would be, and, according to articles in The Maneater and the Columbia Missourian last week, it might soon become a reality. Word has it Missouri Students Association President Tim Noce is looking into potentially bringing a tiger to MU.
Admittedly, I've always wondered why MU doesn't have a live tiger. Louisiana State University has one. The University of Memphis has one.
Despite how cool it would be, bringing a live tiger to MU is just neither ideal nor practical.
First, it's going to a whole lot of take money. Noce said a tiger costs somewhere in the ballpark of $13,000.
I don't exactly shop for exotic cats, so I'm not sure for how much a normal one runs, but that seems like a lot. It's not like the tiger will live forever, either. So eventually, the school will have to buy another.
The price for upkeep for the tiger would be through the roof, too. The university would have to hire a full-time trainer for the tiger to make sure it doesn't wind up in a Las Vegas bathroom. They'd need someone who would be at its beck and call, make sure it has a clean cage, is well fed and is legitimately healthy. That won't come at a cheap price.
The real question is, if the university decides to go through with the tiger plan, who is going to pay for it?
I sure as heck don't want to.
My parents have given the university enough money for the last two years. I don't believe they'll think too kindly of giving money to the school, so they can have a tiger I will only be able to enjoy for a couple years.
Starting next year, MU will increase room and board fees by almost 4 percent. I don't think parents and students really want to pay more money for room and board and a glorified mascot.
It will also be hard for the university to explain to parents and prospective students that university funds will be used for an animal when there are much more pressing needs facing the university.
Yeah, a tiger would be a cool addition, but I would much rather see money used to fix and repair the streets on and around MU or improve some of our outdated facilities. Seriously, some of our streets have more holes in them than the script of Twilight.
New facilities and roads would bring more appeal to prospective students than a cat would. I know people are fickle, but I can't see too many people attending MU because it has a live tiger. Prospective students and parents would be more impressed by new facilities, roads and the like.
We get subzero temperatures in Columbia during the winter, and it is inhumane to expect a tiger to endure that. Of course, the trainers can bring the tiger inside during the winter months, but where would they put it? Is there land set aside for a mascot zoo? I'm guessing probably not.
Tigers are beautiful animals, and I applaud MU for taking initiative into looking into getting one, but for the meantime, the people in the Truman suit will have to do.