The Student Voice of MU Since 1955
Thursday, November 27, 2014

Column: Unpopular opinion: my boyfriend has never opened a car door for me, and frankly, I could not care less

Ignorant bloggers feel the need to tell people how it should be.

Abigail Fisher

April 3, 2014

The opinions expressed by The Maneater columnists do not represent the opinions of The Maneater editorial board.

Spring break is over, and you know what that means: I just spent an entire week of my life staring at my computer screen, and the weather is just beginning to permit more revealing clothing without the fear of losing a limb to frostbite.

Now, what exactly do these two sentiments have to do with each other? During my seven-day-scour across the Internet, I was subjected to hundreds of articles and posts on things like “what all men really want” or “482634 trends men hate” or even “394573 things every woman should know.” I would give direct quotes and links from these articles, but I, in a fit of rage, deleted, blocked and blacklisted anyone who publically shared or liked this kind of smut.

The problem I have with these articles is that they perpetuate the concepts of “should.” A woman “should” be a certain way or a man “should” do certain things in order for a relationship to fit what it “should” look like. These articles completely ignore the fact that no one has the same ideals.

Example: some bloggers feel that it is extremely pertinent in a relationship that the man always open the car door for the lady. Interestingly enough, I have been in a relationship with someone who has never in our several months even attempted to open a car door for me.

WHAT A TRAGEDY.

Except — I do not care. If I cared any less about this meaningless social norm perpetuated by social media, I would have evaporated by now. Believe it or not, I have arms, wrists and hands that are more than capable of opening car doors. I would much rather open it myself than let someone I like waste 30 seconds of their day walking all the way around a car to do a simple, meaningless task that I am so easily capable of doing.

Another example: some writers feel that in order to please men, women should hide her bodies. Don’t wear shorts, tight jeans or any shoulder-baring tops. Leave something to the imagination. Don’t be a tease. Don’t tempt them.

Leave something to the imagination … something like the fact that I have legs? And shoulders? If anything, skimpy clothing should reassure men that their prospective wives have all of their body parts.

The concept of “tempting” or “teasing” is even more oppressive. Why should a woman in a dress feel responsible if some guy sees her bra strap and then has a wet dream about it? How in any way is that her fault? It pains me to realize that there people out there that honestly think that women who wear shorts, tank tops or V-neck tee shirts are wearing them for the sole purpose of infiltrating and dirtying male minds with thoughts of disgusting female bodies. Maybe instead of scolding women for showing skin, we should teach those that have a tendency to over-sexualize bits of human anatomy not to.

Why should we even care what other people are wearing? If you see someone wearing something you don’t like, how about instead of being offended by the one tiny choice they made that morning as they were getting dressed that really doesn’t affect anyone else, you DON’T WEAR THAT THING YOU DON’T LIKE.

It’s that simple.

I am tired of people thinking that they have the right to tell entire sub-sets of the human population what they should look like, how they should feel and what they should want. There are billions of humans on this planet and they all have their own preferences. There are millions of men and women in America with their own views on what is important in a partner. I haven’t even begun to touch on the fact that, shockingly enough to the close-minded, there are men who are actually looking for other men to fall in love with, women looking for other women, and people not even looking at all. It is so wrong to believe that there are values that “all men” or “all women” look for.

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