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Saturday, November 22, 2014

Column: College life hacks

We’ve taken the embarrassment out of “learning the hard way.”

Aug. 26, 2014

The opinions expressed by The Maneater columnists do not represent the opinions of The Maneater editorial board.

I was thoroughly unprepared for college life. During my first week of college, I lost my biology textbook, got sick and accidentally attended a class at Stephens College.

I didn’t really have anyone to tell me what to expect when I was on my own. It is my hope that, with the help of these tips, no one experiences the same agony that I went through last August.

1) Sleep in the clothes you want to wear the next day.

You waste precious minutes each morning getting out of bed, walking all the way to your drawers, picking out clothes and dressing yourself. That is time that could be spent studying or sleeping. You’ll be amazed at the hundreds of extra seconds you will have in the morning if you go to class in your wrinkled shirt and bed head.

2) Freeze ramen for a tasty on-the-go treat.

Everyone loves the taste of ramen noodles, and at 18 cents per metric ton, they are a great value. The only problem with them is the arduous prep time that goes into making them. I mean, you have to find a pan, fill it with water, boil the water and put the noodles in the water. It’s all a bit overwhelming, but there is another way.

Take an empty ice tray, and then fill each container halfway with water, halfway with uncooked ramen noodles. After that, take the seasoning packet and lightly dust the tray with that incredible chicken/beef/shrimp flavor. Finally, stick a toothpick in each container and put the tray in the freezer. Pretty soon you will be enjoying your delicious and nutritious ramen pops all around campus.

3) Make sure everyone knows you were a big deal in your hometown.

Look, you worked long and hard to develop your reputation in high school. Do you want all that work to go to waste? Of course not! So when meeting new people at college, make sure you mention how great you were in high school. Once they hear about how you were homecoming queen or that you were a 2A football god, they will definitely want to be your friend.

Extra Tip: Don’t wait for them to ask what you were like in high school. Just tell them right away about how popular you were. If you weren’t popular in high school, then make up stories about how you were. They probably won’t know you’re lying, and even if they find out, they will be flattered that you wanted to impress them.

4) If you give out personal information, you will get tons of free stuff.

Now that you are in college, you are a prime target for large credit card companies, banks, and other corporations that would love to have you as a customer. These businesses know you are important, so often they will offer you swag (free items) if you choose to do business with them. Usually when you go to sign up for a credit card, you will get something like a free T-shirt, and all you have to do is give them all of your personal information. Just think: if you opened up 30 credit cards, you wouldn’t have to do laundry for a month!

You will need more than just these four tips to succeed in college, but these will help ensure a smooth transition into university life. Good luck, and stay strong.

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