Column: It’s impossible to assign a single definition to sex.
The endless definitions are what makes sex so complicated and wonderful.
Oct. 28, 2015
The opinions expressed by The Maneater columnists do not represent the opinions of The Maneater editorial board.
Sex is far too complex to be given a single definition. For instance, since I identify as a heterosexual woman, the fundamentals of sex for me are much different than for a homosexual man. However, sex is much larger than the fundamentals, and embracing the nearly endless opportunities sex presents is important to increase satisfaction in our relationships.
Sex should not be thought of as a noun. The definition of nouns are absolute and concise. For example, an apple is an apple; it will never be an orange. Sex isn’t as simple as fruit. Sex can involve fruit, but that is a whole other story.
We should imagine sex as a verb. After all, sex is an action. Verbs are much more complicated than nouns. Verbs entail asking what, who, when, where, why and how.
Two homosexual females were having sex at 8 a.m. on Saturday at a hotel because they felt in love with one another. I answered all of the questions above except for “how?” because, well, this is a column, not erotica. Some things are better left to the imagination.
My point is that sex is different every time someone partakes in it; therefore, it is impossible to define sex in one sentence.
Sex is not a box; sex has the ability to be a personal universe that individuals can explore. This exploration allows you to find certain things you do and don’t like in your sex life, which leads to high levels of satisfaction in intimate relationships. For instance, maybe you and your partner had sex at 10 p.m. on a Monday on your partner’s couch in their apartment because there was nothing good on television.
The sexual experience you had that Monday night was not fulfilling for you, and you realized that you no longer want to have sex simply because there isn’t anything worth watching on television. You found that you want to reserve sex for moments when the only reason is because you feel a true urge to have sex. This is a moment of learning for you, and after sharing this new information with your partner, you two have the opportunity to have a more satisfying sex life.
I am not implying exploration means promiscuity. Although having multiple partners is a perfectly normal way of exploring, it is possible to explore the universe of sex with one partner your entire life. In fact, partners in highly committed relationships have more satisfying sex than single individuals splurging in casual sex.
It is not important how you expand your knowledge on sex. When wanting to achieve more sexual satisfaction with your current partner, having the knowledge is what matters.
Sex is a learning process. So don’t be afraid to teach your partner or to be taught by them, otherwise you’ll lack communication in an area that is extremely important in intimate relationships. Talking about sex can be scary sometimes, but don’t let it be. Sex is whatever you make it, so make it great.