Column: Stop being clingy, keep your independence
Relationships don’t last forever, and trying to force your significant other into every part of your life will end badly for both of you.
Mar. 31, 2015
The opinions expressed by The Maneater columnists do not represent the opinions of The Maneater editorial board.
New relationships are like a new pair of shoes. You can’t wait to try them on, wear them everywhere, and show them off to everyone you know. They smell good, they feel good, and they make you happy. When a relationship is in the honeymoon phase like this, it’s usually a good situation for those in the relationship, but not always for everyone else. Cue clinginess.
Being “clingy” is something that guys like to criticize girls for sometimes. However, girls aren’t always the only ones who are clingy. Sometimes it’s both sides that act as a magnet toward the other.
When a couple is considered clingy, they need the other one at all times of the day. They become each other’s “other half” more literally than figuratively. They partake in a super-secret mission to try to stay together at all times as much as they possibly can.
Plan A is simply trying to be together. No matter what the circumstances are, they’ll find a way. However, if they can’t find a way they’ll turn to Plan B, which is texting each other at all times of the day. When one doesn’t respond for a long period of time, initiate Plan C: the phone call.
In the age of technology, being clingy and attached is definitely much easier. But just because it’s easy doesn’t mean it’s always good. It’s important to understand that the honeymoon phase will die out eventually. But even when it does, there’s no guarantee that a couple won’t still want to control each other’s every move.
Being able to be independent while in a relationship is extremely important. Relationships aren’t guaranteed to last forever, so it’s good to balance time for yourself as well as time with your significant other. You never want to end a relationship and feel like you have nothing left.
You always need to be your own first priority. Without your health and sanity, your relationship can’t thrive anyway. So instead of needing to be with your significant other all the time, remember that you are both independent as well.
In addition to that, staying independent while in a relationship can also help your relationships with other people in your life. Your friends love you and want to be happy for you, but it’s really hard when you’re clinging to your significant other so much.
If you’re in a clingy relationship, it usually becomes a downward spiral with your friendships. First, they have to repeat themselves because you were texting during their story. Then, they get annoyed with you for being so obsessed and never being able to hang out because you’re always with him. Finally, you end up not even seeing your friends any more because they don’t want to third-wheel you and your boyfriend or can’t have a normal conversation without you bringing him up.
This poses a major problem in the event of a break-up. At that point, all you want is people to lean back on, but it’s harder to find people who care when you’ve pushed a lot of them out of your life.
Being head over heels and happy with your new relationship isn’t a bad thing — if your new relationship isn’t making you happy, there’s no reason for you to even be in it. However, it’s a good idea to make sure you aren’t too attached to each other and make enough time for yourselves. You never want to lose yourself because you’ve found someone else.