Column: You’re not ‘forever alone’
Even if it seems like you’re never going to have anyone, here are a few reasons why that is fundamentally untrue.
Apr. 15, 2015
The opinions expressed by The Maneater columnists do not represent the opinions of The Maneater editorial board.
When you’re surrounded by lovey-dovey couples that just can’t get enough of each other, you may find yourself thinking, “I guess I’ll just be forever alone.” Newsflash: you won’t. And complaining about it isn’t going to help anything either. So without further ado, here are the reasons why complaining about being single is pointless and counterproductive.
1. You don’t need another person to complete you. You’re your own person. It’s important to know that you shouldn’t love anyone more than you love yourself. In fact, if you don’t love yourself, then you’re even less likely to find someone and develop a relationship with them. You come first, and it’ll be hard for you to let someone love you when you can’t even let yourself do that. Being single and confident can often times be better than needing another person to complete your life.
2. The right person hasn’t come along yet. Although it’s true that there are millions of fish in the sea, you just haven’t found the right one. Obviously, this isn’t your fault. Often times, people blame themselves for not finding someone they feel connected to. Just because you haven’t found the right person for you, doesn’t mean they’re not out there.
3. You don’t want to settle for less than you deserve. I see people all the time in relationships that they shouldn’t be in. They get treated badly, they’re unhappy, and they could do much better for themselves than be in a relationship like that. However, they stay in it because they’d rather be with someone than be alone. Settling defeats the purpose of a relationship — it brings you down instead of up. It’s better to be single than settle.
4. You’re enjoying time as an independent. You have a whole life ahead of you to settle down. And even though it seems like so many people are getting married and having kids right after college, they’re not. This is also a good time to spend time with your friends. Have fun, be someone’s wing-woman or man, or even have someone be yours! The memories you have with your friends are often times the ones you think of to get a good laugh. Plus, you know who your bridesmaids, or groomsmen, will be if you eventually do get married.
5. You’re leaving everything to destiny. The Queen B from “Gossip Girl,” Blair Waldorf, once said: “Destiny is for losers. It’s just a lame excuse for letting things happen to you instead of making them happen.” If you’re complaining about being single, you might be just letting things happen. How can you expect to meet someone and be with them if you never put yourself out there? If you spend all your free time watching Netflix, destiny will not happen. However, if you decide to put yourself out there and make yourself available, you’d be surprised what fate can really bring.
6. Your friends’ relationship problems are so dramatic you’re left wondering, “What’s the point?” Relationship drama can be, well, dramatic. People say things they don’t mean and hurt each other. After sitting down and listening to these issues time and time again, it’s easy to remind yourself that those problems are ones you don’t have. Relationships aren’t always sunshine and rainbows. Being single can remind us that it’s better off without all of the stress.